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female
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anonymous
writes: i had sex with a married older man, try 30 years older and he's my landlord, now it seems like he's pulling away from me. he was supossed to call on saturday and well now it's monday. i called him today twice one time i left a message about he needed to fix the sink, the first time i didnt leave a message, but i called him later that day and blocked my phone number and well he picked up the phone and i said what are you ignoring me now, he said oh never would i do that, then i said why didnt u call me, and he said well i was in a car crash and my arms in a sling blahh blahh, what kind of exscuse is that not a very good one. I didnt really want to get into it on the phone with him but he has never treated me like this before even after ther first time we had sex and now all of a sudden. I know what your going to say he's married and i need to move on but that's not an option i dont understand why he's pulling away all of a sudden. Our last conversation i told him i was going on a date do you think that bothered him. I'm just really hurt that he's acting like this towards me, help. i know for a fact that he's not a happily married man, but they still have sex once a month.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (7 December 2005):
 He's not pulling away from you...he was never WITH you to begin with, sheesh! It's the oldest story. You are yesterday's lunch. If you ever want to hold your head up like Irish says then you have to walk away from this a**hole and STAY way from married men period.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2005): Duh.Why arent you happy this absurd non-realtionship is at an end? There is nothing here for you... leave it alone.Learn to fix your own sink, and do not call him unless the drapes are on fire.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2005): This may seem harsh but this is the fall-out from your unthinking behaviors. What did you expect, dear, you got used by a master 'manipulator' here. You walked right into a volatile situation without thinking and this is where you sit...confused and hurting. As hurtful as it is to hear this, you are yesterday’s news and all you can do is hold your head high and detach from him. You need to hear this to move on, dear. You have no idea what your former lover is feeling inside but we know he's married and doesn't plan on leaving his wife for you, anytime soon. So now, the the only person you have to worry about is you and your reactions to this mess.
You are a good person with a loving heart and a good life. You are not a rotten person, but you did do something wrong. So has billions of others on this planet. This is a life learning experience and we draw from these hard times, and learn from it. I am sure you are hurt, but time will heal you pain. From now on, you need to have huge reservations about men who will cheat on their spouses. It shows that they have poor character, and a profound disrespect for their life partners. From now on, keep your heart safe in loving, committed relationship with unattached males, and no more flirting and having sex with married men. Take care and be strong, dear
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2005): well, i am afraid i have to say that u need to forget this guy and move on. he is married and will always be devoted to his wife whether u feel he is happy or not. am not saying he cant ever leave her but obviously its not going to be easy even if he wants to and u are going to be in a constant emotional trauma. what i suggest is that u seem like an a nice enough lady so find someone who can give u a steady emotional commitment. pls dont think i am judging u no not at all just think u r getting urself involved in too much hassle. i do wish u the best and i hope i was able to help.
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A
female
reader, Phyrekiss +, writes (6 December 2005):
 it could very well be that he is just not as interested in you as he was before. Its a sad fact, but lots of men cheat on their wives with many different women, only because they cant satisfy what it is they are trying to find. They just move from woman to woman, treating them all dirty one right after the next. Try and talk with him, outside of the business enviornment. It may be that he can not speak with you while he is at work. Communication is always important. As far as not responding to needing your sink fixed, that would be a legal issue and should be handled as such. If he is neglecting his duties as a landlord, you should take that up with a lawyer, and dont even mention your personal involvement.
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