A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:After splitting up with my bf I got quite close to his best friend, hangin out alot and chatting all the time. He is also my brothers friend which makes it doubly complicated. After trying to ignore my feelings for him for ages I told him how I felt, as there had been a lot of things said and done that made me think he liked me aswell. He said that nothing could ever happen between us because of my ex and my brother and that he didnt see us getting along as a couple even though he was attracted to me, we decided still to be friends though. However, at a party recently we ended up having to share a bed and he was cuddled up to me all night and some things happened, nothing major but enough to make me think it meant something. I raised this with him and he says he couldnt help himself but it cant happen again, which Im just so angry about as I feel hes led me on. I suggested that we dont see each other because its really too hard for me to be with him but not with him, but he insists that we carry on as normal and stay friends.Is he just on some sort of ego trip or confused about how he feels? I really didnt think he would treat me badly deliberately because of how close he and my brother are, and because of how friendly we have become but I just dont know what to do.
View related questions:
best friend, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2007): My question isnt really about how complicated it will be because of my brother or ex but more about what is this guy thinking? Why tell me nothing can happen.......then initiate something????? And I cant really avoid him because we are in the same circle of friends so I see him every couple of days.
A
female
reader, DGoddess  +, writes (26 August 2007):
 I have to admit, I've always heard it was never a good idea to date a friend or acquaintance of a relative or ex boyfriend.IMHO, it seems to create a kind of uneasiness, to put it simply. While I've never done that myself, I've heard others say it creates friction for both parties, as well as puts the mutual friend in the middle of things.And the middle is where one never needs to be, for no matter which side you choose, there's always a price to be paid.If it were me, I'd keep my distance from this guy and not give him a second thought.I've also heard that good things come to those who wait . . . which personally I'm testing that advice myself.Just give it time, in the meantime steer clear. If you should find yourself in a social situation and he's there, be cordial, but still keep your distance.Hope it helps.
...............................
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (26 August 2007):
 Hi
Just tread very carefully because this guy has got a bit of a point!
I dated one of my brothers mates, and they weren't even best buddies, but because i was with his mate, he ended up working for him, and now me and the guy have split, me and my bro are no longer close like we used to be!
He works with my ex, my ex is paying his wages, buying his smokes and food everyday and paying for his beers when they go out! If i could turn the clock back, i wouldn't of gone near someone my brother knew. I have to put up with them drinking in the pub next to my house every night. And my bro tells me he loves me still but said my ex is like a brother to him! That hurts when you actually have blood between you and your ex hasn't!! So everytime i go anywhere now and brother turns up, my ex is his shadow! Its not pleasant.
Just be real careful and listen to what this guy is telling you. Some things are really not worth sacraficing.
Good luck.
C xxxxxx
...............................
|
