A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm looking for advice and to hopefully hear some success stories where people reunite after some time.The situation is that I met a guy while he was in the process of moving overseas for a job contract that will last 15 months. We dated for 2 months (I wanted to resist but it just didn't happen), he told me he felt a lot of attachment to me and wish it could be long term, that I'm someone he sees being with, but that his contract was signed and he cant handle LDR (he has tried in the past with someone else). These 2 months has been unforgettable. We agreed to keep in contact while he is away and that, if we are both single when he gets back, we may pick up where it left off. There are other issues to consider though: it is possible he chooses to extend his contract at the end as some of his coworkers had, he has been with this company forever and is thinking about finding a new job (which could be outside this city)after he comes back but he doesn't know for sure. Things I know for certain: he WILL return when his job is done (he's had an extended stay there recently and doesn't like the country because it is 3rd world and too religious for him) and he is highly employable in our city.1. I know you don't have a crystal ball, but really, what are the chances he will be single when he returns? Can you tell me what would go through your head if you were a guy in that situation (becoming an expat for 15 months in your very late 20s)? I don't care about him having flings, fwb or short term relationships, but I really hope he comes back single. Visa issues play a role? Not too complicated in that country but still a big factor in case he falls for someone while there? 2. I'm not waiting for him during this time so I will actively date. How much communication between us would be too much? We talk daily and see each other often but that will change when he leaves, right? Are we then strangers?
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female
reader, chaijam  +, writes (25 August 2012):
Your questions are only ones that can be answered with time. So be patient, my dear!
I think you're doing the right thing by dating other people. He's probably wanting to know the same answers that you're looking for too. I say don't keep your hopes too high, but also don't drop them completely. Wouldn't you be devastated if he came back with another woman? I think he'd also be devastated if he came back and you were with another man.
It's up to you what you do really. You can move on or hold on. Whatever you do, I suggest keeping in contact often and being open with each other about relationships. Ask him if he's been seeing anyone over there so you know where you should stand.
All the best,
J
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2012): OP here. Thanks for the responses and the success story. I'm pretty certain LDR is not a possibility for us, just friendship during the 15 months. Visiting is a slight possibility but I'm not counting on it. The place he is going to should have a social scene, maybe not a big one, I'm not sure.
Do you think the chances of him being single at the end is high?? Or low? Again, not gonna stop my life, but I want to know your honest opinion on these odds.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 August 2012):
 It's only been two months so realistically I wouldn't "sit by the phone and await his return". However, sometimes people just click. If you two keep the communication going have a weekly Skype date and if he comes back to the US during those 15 months that you two see each other. Who knows?
Where overseas is he going? Somewhere with a lot of social life or is there more focus on work then anything else?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2012): Hey there, I met my boyfriend when he was over in Glasgow visiting his family, he actually lived over in Jersey (channel islands) for work. He originally lived in Glasgow but had to find work somewhere else. This was febuary 2010, he had to leave after a weak and we had grown very attached to each other. After he left we kept talking online and sure enough we got even more attached. At the beginning we both didn't want a LDR but after 3 months of him being away, we couldn't stand the thought of anyone else being with each other, so he came up for another visit and we spent 10 days together during which he stayed with me, at the end we decided we wanted to be with each other and that we don't care about the LDR. So We did! ... He then came back in october for good and we moved in with each other almost immediatly. A lot of people did think we were moving to fast but we didn't care! we knew each other inside and out. We constantly spoke when he was away and I think that's the best way to deal with a LDR. We had skype (webcam) chats 5 times a week and text all the time. We are still together now and I couldn't be happier! I know mine was 9 months and yours is 15 but if I could go back I would do it all the same! I know this might not work for everyone, but if it's meant to be, you guys will find away to make it work xxx
Good luck !
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (24 August 2012):
 A reunited relationship may work, or not. You and he dated two months? Big deal. However, it may be worth a try.
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