A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello I have a issue, I have had a very good friend and lover for ten years and I really love him! We have a great time together great conversation and everything. He lost his job and he has bee out of work for some time now. So now hes moving to texas for better work oppurtunities. But he said he dont know if hes coming back! Im so hurt, how can I just move on and forget him?
View related questions:
lost his job, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2012): You can't fault him for moving away because he needs to find work wherever he can in this difficult economy. It's not like he decided to move when he didn't have to. what is the status of your relationship? I mean you said you've been together for 10 years, was it just casual like FWB, or were you officially bf/gf? If you were 'official' (and it sounds like you do have feelings for him) then why not start a discussion about how you can continue your relationship long-distance, or make a plan to be together again in the future? What about you moving out there with him for example?when he says he may not be coming back, again it's probably because of work - why should he come back here when there's no way for him to make a living here? So I wouldn't make this into a "if he really loved me he wouldn't be moving away" thing. Well it's times like these that bring up the reason to have some serious discussion about where things are going in your relationship and what your future plans are as far as being with each other. In a way it could be a good thing for breaking out of a rut. Maybe you've been coasting for the last 10 years not really making any commitments to each other, and nothing wrong with that if it's what you two were comfortable with (rather than one person coasting and the other hanging on hoping for more). but life is always full of changes, and with each change, other things may have to change too, that's just how it is. So now is just the time to face that and maybe make some decisions.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 June 2012):
 Since you two have been lovers for 10 years, didn't you talk about BOTH moving to Texas eventually?
...............................
A
female
reader, Eyespy17 +, writes (12 June 2012):
Have you ever discussed marriage or a real relationship ? Why are you only friends and lovers and not more committed after ten years?
I'd ask that question and then based on the answer - decide whether to move on for good. But it does seem like he's not considering a future with you by just up and moving and telling you he may not come
Back.
...............................
|
