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He's moving away for a year, I didnt tell him how I felt, have I blown my chance ?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Friends, Long distance, Love stories<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 April 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 22 April 2007)
A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

The guy im in love with, is moving today to another city. we met yesterday to say goodbye. we are not in a relationship. we are very good friends.

we spoke for a while, and then he had to go, and we hugged. he whispered in my ear that he is going to me miss and kissed my ear/neck. this is the first time he has kissed me (we have known each other for 6months), though we have hugged on many occasions.

the background to my story can be found on this link below

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/this-guy-has-me-really-really-confusedcan-anyone.html

but i didnt say to him, that im going to miss him, because all i was thinking about that he was actually going (i have known for about 3months). i really regret not saying anything to him. but i did say to him that next time he comes home that we should meet up, and he agreed. he then gave me another hug. i feel really bad for not telling him. have i blown my chance with him?

normally, he is a bad communicator, but this week we have spoken everyday, either on the phone or online. and its felt like old times. we spoke about things we aint spoken about in ages. he asked me again to come and visit him. i told that it maybe difficult (for other reasons, which he understood). he then asked me if i had any family there, i told him i aint. then said that if i ever need to break from everything i should come and see him and he will take me out.

i really miss already, and its only been a day. i cant wait to speak to him and hear his voice. i told him i would call him later in week, coz his mum was going to stay with him for few days. he said he will call me too. he is like my best friend.

he asked me if he was doing the right thing moving away for this job. he is only going for a year. he said he going to miss his family so much. i didnt know what else to say, apart from this is ajob you have always wanted and you will have to wait and see how it goes and that you not going forever. he said everyone has been saying that. i then said what else do you want me to say. he just smiled at me.

is there anything i can do? or do you think he knows im going to miss him from what you have read in this question and on the link? have i blown it?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks zim, much appreciated.

as for me going to see, it will be really hard as my parents will not allow that. he knows that. being from the same faith, he understands me completely.

i hope he knows im going to miss, coz since i saw him on fri i cant stop thinking about what i didnt say. i miss soo much already, i cant wait to see him again. i know thats going to be really hard, coz we have found it hard in the past. but im willing to wait for him to come home, even if its a year. i know people wil say thats silly esp when we are not in a proper relationship, but i think he is the 'one'. from the moment we first met, i developed feelings from him, and they have just got stronger and stronger. all i want at this moment is for him to put his arms around me, coz it feels great when he does. but then you could say im day dreaming! fate has taken us this far, and fate will just have to take us further...!

i will keep you all updated, if anything develops. but thanks to everyone who has helped me so far. xx

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A male reader, Zim United Kingdom +, writes (22 April 2007):

Zim agony auntHmm, I think he does know that you miss him. If you're that close with someone you're going to miss them. Believe me, i'm going through something similar at the moment.

By the sounds of it he has very strong feelings for you. From what I read, it would seem that is very much the case. Fate is all well and good but it has flaws.

A quote I once read I think summarises this perfectly. "Your destiny is not defined by the chances you take but by the choices you make" In essence, what I am saying here is that you haven't blown your chance. I think you two have a good chance of making this into a very promising relationship. You have both asked each other out, which means you both find each other attractive and considering you're best friends too, that's fantastic!:-)

Think of it this way, he is only away for a year, he's interested in how you are doing, you often have chats and he wants you to visit him. Also the question whether he asked you if going away was the correct decision checks a box somewhere along the line.

I don't think you've blown it. You are both just a little nervous when it comes to beginning a relationship and i'm guessing also expressing your feelings? At this point, a long distance relationship is possible because you two are the best of friends already. You have that trust and care for each other already to build on. I'm afraid i'm not really experienced on long distance relationships, but when you visit him you can express your feelings then? If that's impossible for these other reasons you have, then tell him over the phone in a mature, serious way. Does that make sense?

I hope this helps you. Please give us an update if you want to ask more.

ZIM

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