A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Last night I was in a party and I ended up getting rather drunk and getting off with the guy I like. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't think he wanted to go further.He doesn't want a relationship, whereas me, I don't want to go any further without us being in a secure relationship. I'm worried that he will go off me if I don't "put out" because he seems very keen to catch up with his friends who are no longer virgins.A couple of nights before, he did admit he liked me, but only after I had told him too but I still have my doubts. Is he using me for sex?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2007): Let's recap. You had sex with a guy you know does not want a relationship. However you want something more secure before you go any further, but you admit you are worried about losing him because you don't want to put out. Now you ask, is he interested in you because he wants just sex from you. I would say...a definite 'yes'. You had sex with him but you are not wholly and emotionally valued by him-he does not want to be responsible for your feelings so this is his way of seeing you but he doesn't owe you anything. It's a lot work, efforts and time being an official boyfriend, isn't it? Some guys don't like that...he's one of them. He has absolved himself, of all the emotional lovey-dovey stuff that goes into a genuine, committed relationship and you are at risk of falling for this, hook, line and sinker. It must've hurt to hear that this guy didn't want to be your bf after having sex with him. I am trying to also understand why you think you should give up all your precious time and energies, focused on some guy who doesn't want to date you. That's pretty silly, isn't it? I say, lose contact with this loser and go find a real man, one who adores you and thinks you are awesome, beautiful and loves you, for just who you are. You deserve that, don't you?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2007): sounds like he only wants sex. dont give in because he will use you and you will end up hurt. you sound like a girl with morals and a mind of her own. stick to your guns. i promise you a decent lad, one who is worthy of your affections, will wait until you are ready and would never dream of pressurising you. so what if this creep leaves? your far, far better off without him. your first time is special. wait until you are 100% sure.
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