A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I've been married for 10 years, have 2 kids and for the last 3 years have had sex with my husband maybe 3 times. I wear size 4 clothes, run at least 3 times a day try very hard not to look frumpy and even where sexy nightgowns. Everything I do seems to go unnoticed. I've even asked my husband if he's gay. I'm totally angry with him. I would gladly undergo plastic surgery if it would turn his head but I'm not sure it would work. What do I do? Counselling isn't working. I'm too young to have a relationship based solely on companionship. I don't know what do do anymore. He's more interested in his computer and ipod. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2007): My husband is the same way. Between the internet, video games, sports on TV, I feel like I dont exist. I dont get much companionship even from him. Sex? whats that? Oh yes, he maturbates when we go to bed and when we wake up. I ahve told him numerous times I want to have sex, kissed him and tried to start something but he rather use his hand. It hurts. He doenst get it. I ownder if he is having an affair or is gay.
A
female
reader, Tanyas247 +, writes (29 January 2007):
 I agree with India. Life is just too short to let your desires and needs go. I'm sure you love your husband, but that doesn't mean it's best to settle for whatever he dishes out. It is always fair to expect to get out of a relationship what you put in, in the long-term. This has been going on for too long, and he is not doing his part in the marriage of making sure you are satisfied, too.
I like the weekend idea, though it sounds like he might not go for it. I would approach him with this anger you have. Let him know right off that you're unhappy and you expect him to do something about it because you would for him. If he's resistant, you're better off improving your life without him.
Best of Luck!
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (29 January 2007):
 I see a lot of problems in this marriage right now. You're being neglected, both emotionally and sexually. He is preoccupied and distancing himself. You've tried marriage counseling for the both of you and it's not working?
Well, I think it's time to put your foot down. I think you need to tell him that he's got to change or that you're going to leave. And I do think that leaving him is something you've got to start considering, or your entire life will be like this. Maybe a trial separation will give him a reality check.
I do think before you do anything too drastic, here's a thought. What if you leave the kids with family or their friends, and you and your husband take a technology free weekend. Go rent a cabin in the woods! Just the two of you. That will give your husband time to focus JUST on you and you'll be able to see if he's interested in you the way he used to be.
Good luck, sweetness.
xxIndia
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