A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:theres a guy i went on a date with hes very shy and so am i, he said he is thinking about us starting a relationship but hes taking too long (2 month) and ive now met someone else who knows what he wants how do i break it to the other guy hes missed his chance without being mean but that we can be friends ive never been in this position before . i know theres only one way to tell him but its how to word it im not sure about , thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2014): Um of course you should try to stay friends with this shy guy! You are not married, you are not even in a relationship, you are in the initial stages of dating this new guy. It's always good to keep your options open. Take my advice (below), tell him about the new guy and then tell him you still want to be friends by suggesting something casual like catching up to get coffee.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (7 December 2014):
 Don't ask the shy guy to be "friends". If you haven't really talked in 2 months and went on 1 (ONE) date doesn't mean you owe him squat.
Go out with guy #2, and if at some point in time guy #1 calls, you tell him that you met someone else, and have moved on.
WHY on Earth should you sit around and wait for #1 to decide to date you or not?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2014): Whatever you do, do NOT tell him you can ne friends because you both know that will never happen.
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A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (7 December 2014):
I will say nothing at all unless/until he actually comes out and asks you to be his girlfriend. I say this because he has not been straightforward with you, if he wanted to be open with you then he would have done that instead of letting you hang about for 2 months. Similarly if he was boyfriend material he wouldnt do this. In light of his actions or rather the lack of them, I advise you to just focus on who you have met now. He didnt see you as worthy of an explanation so why should you? Best of luck with your relationship now, there are too many men (and maybe women, I dont know) who sit on the fence and refuse to commit to even dating one person.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2014): Just keep in mind, you went on ONE date with this guy. ONE. And it's taken him two months to work up the nerve to ask you out again. Yeah you have nothing to feel bad about.
Just say, "Hey Ralphie. Thanks for the offer but I've recently met someone I've been spending time with and would like to see where it goes. I had fun with you but hadn't heard much from you since our last date two months ago so I assumed you weren't interested...sorry if you feel I came to that conclusion prematurely. In any case, I'd like to stay friends with you, maybe grab coffee sometime, as friends, if that's cool?"
Boom. I'm a pro at stuff like this. And you'll let him down gently and still be friendly with him.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (7 December 2014):
 Lucky for him he's not had time to fall in love so, it will be easy. All you need to say is something like; dear(John-or whatever) I had a great time on our date however, it wouldn't be fair to you to continue our budding relationship as my heart belongs to another. Best wishes to you in the future. Thanks again, Your friend, Mia(or whatever your name is). I think from this short and to the point message he should get the hint that you are commited to someone else(none of his business who) and that you don't hate him or anything negaive. Good Luck. PS, from a guy's point of view, rejection hurts like hell but it only hurts for a little while.
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