A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, Im really not sure anyone can help me but i need advice. I have been very hurt over the last 2 years by somebody who i work with. it is a very long story but to cut it short i fell deeply for a man i had known for three years. we would meet on occasions and had a closeness that i had never experienced with anybody in my life before (even my husband who i had been married to for a very long time) this guy meant everything to me. he became my world and however hard we tried we couldnt stay away from each other.he was younger than me and was a real charmer and a womaniser and he used to say i scared him because with me he felt different to anyone else he had been with. he had a fear of commitment and at the end of the day i got very hurt. i know deep down that i love him still and probably always will but i now try and avoid seeing him as much as possible as it obviously wasnt meant to be. i had a very close friend who helped my thru this who is married (i am also friends with his wife). A few months ago he told me that he loved me and had for a long time. i started a relationship with him which blows hot and cold.i am a very insecure person because of my past and if i dont hear from him for a day or two get very down. if im honest im not sure that i love him, i really dont know! i see him with his wife and get jealous when they are together,or wen he kisses her in front of me. He feels awkward im sure and often gets grumpy wen she wants his attention.she is also insecure and craves attention.We get bvery little time together ,only the odd kiss here and there when she goes out the room. i know im wrong to expect him to be able to dedicate a lot of time to me as he says he loves his wife but loves me to.she is now not allowing him to talk to me for more than 15 minutes a night on facebook as she suspects he has feelings for me,wen i dont hear from him i get angry and down.Since we have started seeing each other he puts statuses up for his wife saying u are so special and such like. i dont know if it is gult thing but i get upset wen i read them.i have tried to avoid him for the last few days but he has sent me a text saying he misses me. I know he will never be the other guy to me. I could never feel that way again but i do enjoy his company, just finding it difficult cos he is married to my friend. Any advice would be appreciated
View related questions:
facebook, I work with, insecure, jealous, text, womaniser Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010): and your problem is?
he is married to your friend, so HE IS OFF LIMITS. respect this marriage!eave him alone
A
female
reader, Accountable +, writes (11 February 2010):
 I'm shocked you still refer to this woman as your friend - with friends like you who needs enemies, right? You might think that sounds harsh but, honestly, if you were in her position how would you be feeling?
You need to stop whatever is going on with this guy and find someone who is available. The other posters are completely right - stop choosing men who you know are womanisers, cheaters, liars, you are just setting yourself up for more heartache (and right now you're destroying your friends marriage - i know if i was her i would be out of there the second i had any proof of what was going on between you and the husband). I would actually recommend that you forget about guys for a while and learn how to be happy as an independant, single woman, and figure out what it is you really want from life - then maybe your judgement of the male character will improve and you'll manage to find someone who is actually worth your time.
Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010): Just imagine the guy wasnt married to your friend and was single,honest,caring and faithful. It will soon make you forget him. Theres plenty more married fish in the sea. Get out there.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (11 February 2010):
 Are you kidding?
...............................
A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (11 February 2010):
 Have you ever stepped back and asked yourself why you are so attracted to men who aren't available to you?
Stop acting a victim; YOU made the choice to get involved with your friend's husband (which is despicable, by the way). YOU decided to waste two years of your life chasing a womanizer. Take ownership for the choices you've made that have lead you to end up where you are.
There is no hope of a relationship with this married man. He has told you that he loves his wife, which should be a clue that he has no plans to end his marriage. I'm sure the womaniser gave you clues, too, but you chose not to heed them. Do you not see a pattern here? You are choosing lying, cheating men.
You describe his wife as insecure and craving attention; I think you need to take a look in the mirror because you are also describing yourself. The difference is that she has a right to her husband's affection; you don't.
In your hurt and loneliness, you latched on to the first man who smiled at you and told you sweet things. But what you're really doing is setting yourself up for more hurt and disappointment, but this time you're taking your this man's wife--a woman you call a friend--with you.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 February 2010):
This is a mess isn't it. You've blown a marriage for one guy who was a womaniser. He then got rid of you and now you're busy with another guy who appears to just be using you. Seriously, none of these men are right. This new guy doesn't give a damn about you, otherwise he would be with you. You need to move on from all these guys and address your own life right now, or you'll lose everything, including a friend.
...............................
A
female
reader, laceytopgirl +, writes (11 February 2010):
 Oh please, this man is having the best of both worlds here. Howver much he tells u he loves you and wants to be with you he clearly isnt too bothered as hes wit his wife and not you, If u were to be togehter could u trust him, as hes seein you behind his wifes back, and im sure he ll do it again, after all once a cheater always a cheater.you deserve so much more, u said u ignored him for a few days and he text sayin he missed u hes clearly tryin to keep u both sweet, and he knows by that one text ur be there if he needs to. at the end of the day bein in a situation like this, you may not be able to see how bad he looks, but belive me he is not worth the hassle. u may love him,but hes havin it bang off here, and as for hes only allowed to speak to u on facebook for fifteen mins a night, im not surprised what a deceitful man, u shouldnt let him get to u, as much as u feel for him for ur own sake wash ur hands with him i wish u all the best x
...............................
A
female
reader, jc82 +, writes (11 February 2010):
 Stop seeing him. Find someone else who is available.
...............................
|
