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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi, i need some help to sort my true feelings. have been in a long distance relationship with the man i luv truly. emails, phones, letters, gifts almost five years. we have had our ups n downs, but until recently i realised i need to move on becos i dont feel loved by him anymore. his actions and his words are two different things. i asked him to be honest and tell me if he has found someone but he has not come back to me on this. more like anything abt us, he doesnt have an answer.is busy..thats the response i get n says he will call back. but time to call, he apologises and says he will call tommorrow but never gets around to it. i want to sort this out once and for all. i know i will be told to move on n all, but i need to know for what reasons he left without any explanation. he only comes to me , that is by calling or emailing me when he wants to be physically satisfied. he is married to a white gal , no kids. help plse????/
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (13 May 2006):
 My friend, listen up good. Firstly what has the last last part of your question got to do with anything, "he is married to a white gal"
That to me is totally irrelevant, well the bit about her colour is pointless, but let me just point out which bit is the most important. HE IS MARRIED. Now my friend I do know what it is like to have feelings for a married man, I have asked for advice myself, I love giving advice but I wanted to get some words of wisdom off others, basically, my question was do I tell a married man I like him A LOT. But under no circumstances would I start an affair. Now, all this guy wants from you is SEX. Nothing more, nothing less, just SEX. No commitment, no relationship, just SEX. What are you, do you love yourself, are you happy for a man to treat you as a sex toy as Martini rightly said? You say you dont feel loved, well my friend, I dont believe he has ever loved you. You were his quick fix, he is married, has to "commit" to another woman, but if he wants satisfying, he comes to you. My friend, this has got to stop, the man is married, he doesnt love you, he is simply using you. Have some respect for you and realise you deserve to be treated better, if you allow yourself to be treated like dirt, then thats what you will get. Al the best. xXx
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (13 May 2006):
 Martini is correct. How can you get so deep into something you should never have had in the first place?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2006): Excellent. You're a sex toy. Wow, if only every married bastard would have one, this site will never cease to end! Not that I want DC.org to end.
Anyway, so you love a guy who is married, and loves to just come around and bang you, then leave and string you up at the end of his hook with emails, letters, and superficial material that is easy to get and make, complemented with tender words, that even my 8 year old cousin can think up.
Come on, let's put this into perspective. I'm going to role play a bit. Say I choose to be a total friggin bastard player. Now, I bet 90% of the girls I meet at clubs, bars, and other public and semi-public places will most likely fall for my words, confidence, and possibly my 'sincerity' to want to just be friends. Which no doubt in my mind, I can possibly and most likely get them to sleep with me as my Friday F**k. I will tell you that it is SO EASY to sweet talk, smooth my way into a girl's skirt IF I wanted to. HOWEVER, please note, that I am NOT saying that I myself can nor will do that. I am just saying...
I tell you Ms. Anon, there are some people in this world that make everything look so sweet and delicious, that even some of the smartest, most brilliant, and most successful business women in this world swoon and fall for men like that. Come on... What do you love about him? DO YOU love HIM, or do you love the long distance 'attention' he gives you? IF YOU SAY you love HIM, then WHAT DO YOU LOVE about him?
CAN YOU TRULY SAY you love all of him? OR can you ONLY say you love this and that...?
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