A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm not interested in getting with a married man, but I am wondering what his behavior means so that I know how to act accordingly (if its friendliness, I'll continue to be friendly, if its interest, I'll know to show him that I'm not going to be falling for a married man). I am 18 years old, going on 19 very shortly, and I am friends with married men I work with, friend's dads, and other people I come in contact with (customers, people who work nearby, etc.)I see this specific guy 2-3 times a week...as "neighbors" (working next door to each other), I eat where he works whenever I work.He's kind as can be, but usually quieter than his coworkers. He speaks politely when he must and besides that he just keeps to himself.He's been nice to me a lot... putting his hand on the small of my back when asking me a question, letting me pay him back when my credit card wasn't working, being concerned one night when I didn't have my coat, always remembering my very specific and very picky order (and taking note of things I like/don't like on his own without me telling), etc. Sometimes I feel like he is looking at me... but I'm very near-sighted so I just get the feeling but can't see too well...I would think he was just being polite, but then sometimes he doesn't act the same which makes me feel weird. Sometimes he'll ignore me... seemingly more when his boss is around (however the last time he was there, he was much friendlier to me), I've seen him look at me out of the corner of his eye when I would talk to one of his coworkers and he just doesn't seem happy, he sometimes stands right by when I talk to his boss (who I'm friends with and laugh with a lot) and he keeps his brows furrowed and lips pursed like he doesn't like what is going on but tries to act like he's not even listening, sometimes he avoids eye contact...He's a nice person and seems like a good person, but I don't understand why he treats me the way he does. I would like to be his friend as I see him often and am friends with the guys he works with, but if something strange is happening I want to know so no problems arise.... Also, he's fairly young... I would guess he was about 25-under 30 and a good looking guy, so I have trouble seeing him as someone who would just be looking for sex or playing around...He could just be being nice but something feels just different... its not good or uncomfortable, just not normal.
View related questions:
co-worker, I work with, married man Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2010): I don't see how I can back off when I never did anything in the first place, and these are hardly his "every moves". I don't think you exactly understand the work situation or the fact that he's the only person out of his coworkers, who I am friends with, that is completely different and awkward... just with me. Not with others.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2010): I think you are reading way too much into some of the things you mentioned. Some people see what they want to see regardless of the evidence and I see a little of that going on. I advise you, however, to back off. karma is real don't underestimate it. If you do anything to ruin this mans marriage I foresee a lot of heartache coming YOUR way. Don't mess with another womans husband. You are playing with fire and its all going to come back to you way way worse. Save yourself the humiliation, the heartache and BACK OFF
...............................
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (26 February 2010):
 For someone who claims to NOT want to become involved with a married man, you're spending w-a-y too much time thinking and obsessing about his every move, every comment, every glance in your direction. I think if you really aren't toying with the idea of stealing another woman's man, you should simply stop going where he's at, and make new friends elsewhere. Otherwise, you're not fooling anyone. If you need friends, find some great gals, or at least a few single men and stop interacting with this guy.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2010): Thank you very much. Yes, I do know not to do anything. I have trouble believing that he would use me because he truly seems like a nice person who wouldn't intentionally hurt or use anyone, but even while I may think that I would not want that kind of drama.
I just don't want to be sending any signals myself in the event that he is interested...I don't want to jump to conclusions and say he is and have him wonder why I'm not being as friendly toward him as the other guys (young, single guys and older married guys who see me more or less as a kid) after he's been so nice to me, but I don't want him thinking I'm interested in pursuing anything (and I think I've already given off that vibe most likely, I'm shy and it can be mistaken for coy flirtation, but I don't think my behavior with him could be taken that way).
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (25 February 2010):
He probably does like you, but he hasn't made a move, and hopefully won't. And if he does, you know not to do anything because he'll only use you.
...............................
|
