A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This past weekend i was suppose to hang out with my boyfriend, but he had to work so instead i went to a party with a few of my girlfriends. when i got to the party, i noticed my daughter's father was there. Me and my friend had a few drinks and left shortly after arriving. After we left we were driving around, i lost my phone in the car. plans changed and my boyfriend didn't have to work that night. i was freaking out because i couldn't find my phone. by the time i found it, i was fairly drunk. my first priority was to find it so i could leave. my daughter's father still loves me and wants to be with me, but he knows i don't want to be with him and he also knows i have a boyfriend, and he is dying to find out who he is. so he asks me questions trying to find out. my friend wanted to go back to the party, by the time i found my phone it was 2am, too late to try to go to my boyfriend's house. So we planned to hang out later that morning. Anyway, the next morning i was with my boyfriend. we went out to eat, while we were out, my daughter's father sends me a text and says "is your boyfriend -so and so-?" he was right but i don't know how he knew, my first instinct was to show my man the text. he got mad because i didn't tell him the night before who was at that party. he probably thinks i cheated on him that night (i'm assuming), but i didn't. i tried to explain to him that i did NOT purposely not tell him who was at that party. i explained that my first priority was to find my phone so i could leave the party and go to my boyfriend's. i wasn't even thinking of telling him he was there. it's innocent. i'm innocent. but my boyfriend is SO mad at me! he wont even speak to me! i don't understand! i love this man, and he knows he is the one i love, nobody else. but i cant get him to talk the problem out with me. what should i do? he's making me feel guilty when i did NOTHING wrong. how can i get him to listen? do u think he has a right to be mad? what should i do? please help!
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female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (4 June 2011):
 Hey, My suggestion is to let him be for a bit. He is upset and mad and angry for what he thinks or perceives your reasons are for not telling him who was at that party. We all have insecurities and the mere fact that you share a child bond with this guy, is enough to make him wonder ...if you still have feelings.....what did you do.....did you guys talk....alot of things are going through his head right now..and despite how many times you say you did nothing wrong...they will still go through his head. So I would leave him alone for a bit, give him time to cool down. When he is ready he will call or text or what not and you will be settled down as well.....then he might be alot more open to listen nicely. Right now he is all charged up and upset...nothing will be seep into his brain at that point.so let him be for a couple days...or a few days .....relax, take care of your little girl....and just chill out for a bit. Best of Luck chick
A
female
reader, lorinda +, writes (4 June 2011):
OK first of all I want to tell you that trust is one of the most important things in any relationship. If one person feels they cannot trust the other, you are going to have a real problem. Why didn't you just tell him about your Daughter's Father strait out? HE MIGHT NOT HAVE LIKED HEARING THAT BUT AT LEAST IT WOULDN'T HAVE LOOKED LIKE YOU WERE KEEPING SOMETHING FROM HIM...AND PERHAPS HAD SOMETHING TO HIDE. When you hear about something that makes you feel threatened after the fact...your imagination can run wild and get the better of you. It's not that you did something wrong or did anything at all..it's just the idea that you weren't upfront about things...and then why not? Do you kind of see how he might be feeling? try to put yourself in his position. On the other hand, he also sounds like he might be a little possessive...and jealousy is evil. If you can't get him to communicate with you at all about what happened (nothing) what will you do when there is a real problem? Something to consider.
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