A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: He has another girlfriend and he’s denying it and I know that he has a girlfriend. His closest friend told me and this guy doesn’t have any reasons to lie to me. My boyfriend had a fight with his close friend because this decent guy advised me to keep away from him, dump him coz he’s not serious/player and always has been and coz this guy told me the truth that my boyfriend has another girlfriend for over 2 months now. The Problem is I am in love with him and I knew that he lied about as many things as anyone can imagine and they were pretty much major things like he told me that he had a nice apartment where we will get married at but he never had any. He told me that his mom is really sick and has cancer that she had to travel to get a surgery and all that never really happened and that was totally invented by him just to gain himself some time with me coz I was nagging on him to come and take a formal move. He always claims that he’s never going to lose me. Recently, he knew that I know about his every lie and that he currently has a new girlfriend so he made every possible way to gain me back. I told him, if you really are claiming that you don’t want to lose me, then there is one way to prove it which is coming to propose coz we can’t and will not be friends if this doesn’t work out. He gave me a date on which everything will be determined whether we are going to continue together and he will be really committed or not and take our relationship to the next level. I know that he doesn’t love me but I do love him and I realize that this is not enough and I do realize as well that once a cheater will always be a cheater. I know too that he pictures me as a golden chance that he doesn’t want to let go of because as he claims he likes how I look, my job, my education,…my everything. Well what he really likes is the fact that my family is rich and I am in a good position with a relatively good salary and my family will help him with the marriage requirements like no other and the fact that I love him and I don’t look bad so he’s looking for the social standard so where else would he get this once in a life time chance? I don’t know what to do!!! I am deeply, fanatically and irreversibly in love with him but he’s a cheater and he always will be, I guess. Should I give him a chance hoping that he might change and do a serious step on the date that he promised or just save myself the hassle and break up with him coz there is a possibility that he might put it off AGAIN coz as he claims he’s financially unstable??? By the way, we have been together for over a year and the date he gave me is in two weeks, so what do u think, should I give it a chance till that date just not to blame myself saying “ what if!!” or just break up now?
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female
reader, taina1980 +, writes (18 December 2008):
Girl where's your dignity?! I'm sorry I don't mean to judge you, but he only wants you because he knows that you aint going no where... Your financial stability should be the last thing that your true love or soulmate would think about... I hope that your not giving him money or caring for him in anyway... If his own friend tells you that he's a dog, then there is a serious problem... If he has a girlfriend & is lying about it what do you need him for... one sided love is not enough to sustane a relationship... Girl he was killing off his own mother with cancer? come on, again I apologize for my bluntness.. Anyone who would kill off there own mother is trash! & if he woukd lie about his mother he doesn't give a damn about you...dump his sorry ass! like yesterday dump his sorry ass...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2008): If you know that he just want to gain some thing or the other from you, then their is no point having relationship with him, But if you really love him their must be some reson behind it. as you were saying that you are from a status family you might be having some other guys in your circle, but he must be having some thing in him that actracs you.
so I personly feels you should give him a chance by keeping a watch on him and then take your decission that wether he worth it or not.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2008): Dear Poster,
Honesty is very important in a relationship.Whether you are married or not in any relationship if the partner cannot be honest your relationship is doomed.A dishonest person is the key to a lifetime of misery.
Its your choice to select misery or happiness.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2008): I do not understand why you want to marry a man who is already lying and cheating, why do you want to subject yourself to such pain and humiliation? WAKE UP!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2008): Dear Ms.Gina,
Shouldn't we be practicing equality of the sexes?Guys have feelings too.They get equally hurt when we cheat on them.
I checked your answer on this question.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-caught-wife-in-the-act.html
Shouldn't you be giving the same kind of answer to this poster as well?
A guy telling his mother has cancer is despicable but a wife who went around her husband's back,lied to him should be forgiven?
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