A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My partner can't get the type of girls he wants because they are well out of his league (model types much younger than us )we're in our forties ) and he spends his times lusting after them in porn. This makes me feel like he is settling for me and just using my body as a masturbation aid while thinking of them and wishing he could have that. Is it worth staying together or should a woman my age just accept no man really wants to be with someone her age if given a choice (unless he's one of the few who can score the model type) and is always settling and just stay single.
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female
reader, Caring Aunty A +, writes (23 January 2018):
 IF for any reason a partner makes you (feel) second rate with the fact he is porn oriented or obsessed you are in effect made to be emotionally insecure. For me, there are one to many women in your relationship!? His emotional loyalty is not investment in you, but to porn.
I've started to see this whole porn watching, lusting and wanking over these women as a form of "Emotional Abuse" on the partner who is experiencing emotional neglect, which is usually the GF etc.
That to me, says you're emotionally starved for his affection and attention. Plus when he gives you affection that affection should be because of his love for you, not because you're "a masturbation aid" to satisfy him!
When you or anyone says they're an AID of sorts in that manner, it always makes me think a person is being used as a toilet.
For me, it's not worth staying; FLUSH HIM!
Take Care - CAA
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2018): Anoymonus female readers reply was so right! Porn is a huge problem in our culture and destroying relationship because men are obsessed with it and women cant compete with it just makes women feel inadequate. Porn has ruined.society. I wpuld say dump a an qho prefers porn to.you then see howuch he.prefers it without the real thing!!!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (23 January 2018):
 SOOOooooo..... if there's nothing there, for you, in this "relationship" that you wish existed.... then GIVE IT UP.... and get on with your life....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2018): I am a young woman but I think pron is just a major problem in general right now in our culture. It is a porn culture, and if you say anything against it you are accused of being jealous. Well it is more complicated than that. I believe that porn is wrong because of all sorts of situations like this one. Yes all men fantasize but it is better kept in their heads like before the dawn of the internet. And there was a time it was just their imaginations, and these problems wouldn't arise. I think porn is great for making any woman feel inadequate and like she is not living up to the fantasy. So, it is not great for marriage or any relationship. Does it mean he isn't attracted to you as well? I highly doubt that. If it were true, men who were with young women wouldn't need porn, men who were with hot models wouldn't use porn (and many still do I think because porn is everywhere)...what I am getting at is the problem is with porn itself and how pervasive it is. Oh...and the young women thing? Well for the most part those are just the kind of women who do the porn, unless it is a fetish porn of some type, it is going to be young women.I think you should talk to him about quitting porn, maybe go to counselling over it. Some will say that is an unfair request, and others will say that is a perfectly valid one and there ARE some good men out there who don't do it (hard to find though). I have asked my man to stop porn and I have dated men who don't do it.Best of luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2018): There are men and women of all ages working in porn. If you go to either milf or gilf and look at the comments you'll seem men and some women appreciating all of it. If he only views the young ones I can see how that would be hurtful.
Has he told you that is his preference? Does he check out younger women when you are together? Does he compliment you and appreciate you properly? If he does the first two and doesn't do the third, I'd kick him to the curb.
There are men out there who find women in their forties attractive and some of them are younger men. Don't sell yourself short.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 January 2018):
 I think you are giving porn WAY to much power in your life.
Yes, I bet more men look at younger porn stars instead of the more mature ones (regardless of their own age) Because? Our culture worships youth. TBH, IF I were to watch porn (I don't) I would probably RATHER look at hot younger men than middle-aged men. Does that mean I don't desire my partner? Does it mean I VALUE an "older" man less? Not at all.
The notion that because a guy watches porn younger with younger porn-stars that it MUST mean he doesn't want to BE with you, I find a bit over dramatic and well, ridiculious. We ALL (him included) get older, and like fine wine, age isn't always a bad or negative thing.
If you have a partner who doesn't APPRECIATE you for who you are and how you look, drop him and move on to someone who will. Why settle for this?
Now if you have a partner who RATHER look at porn and enjoy his hand over intimacy with YOU, then I say toss him to the curb.
UNLESS he has actually TOLD you, I don't find you attractive, or older women are not as hot or whatnot, then I can understand your attitude, but if he doesn't SHOW you or TELL you that this is how he feels... It's definitely sounding more like it's YOUR insecurities that are in control.
And if PORN makes you feel so inferior, WHY date a guy who is apparently very open with his porn usage?
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A
female
reader, Beets +, writes (21 January 2018):
 From what you say, it sounds like you have someone who is addicted to the act, but not the person. He's looking at these young firm [and fake] bodies, and it makes you feel unappreciated and not very desirable. I do not want to believe that men are only attracted to young women they cannot have, and that there are those out there who truly love a person no matter what her age/body type. I just think you have a bloated old horndog on your hands, and he is bringing you down.Cut him loose. Tell him to go get those girls, and that you're getting on with your life. I mean, what would he think if you had a private sex life that he was not included in, and he felt like his body wasn't as attractive as the others who were fulfilling your needs? What if he felt like he couldn't fulfill you sexually, but others could? He probably wouldn't like it very much, but that is what he is doing to you. He's not a good guy. You deserve better than this.
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