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female
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anonymous
writes: i have been with my boyfriend for 6 months. i knew he was married but he said they had separated. i got a phone call ffrom his wife saying that they were still together!!! me and my bf do everything together and i do love him dearly. but he has lied constantly for the last 6 months. him and his wife have now separated. what should i do? should i stay with him? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (17 July 2006):
 Honey, this guy has shown himself to be untrustworthy.
Knowing that he has pulled the wool over your eyes for SIX months, would you trust him with your life? With your kids? With your money?
The question for you now is: How much self-respect are you willing to sacrifice in order to stay in this relationship?
Good luck and take care.
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (17 July 2006):
 If YOU can trust him saty. If not go. Simple. Your relationship should be based on trust, without that you have nothing.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2006): From the first time he lied to you, you should have bailed out, dear. We all know that men who would screw around on their wives are liars. That's a given. So on earth are you upset? Did you think he would .not. lie to you? A girl needs to use her brains and choose her love interests, based on good character values and traits. This guy does not pass the grade and he flunks, bigtime. So what is it about you that thinks you do not deserve better. You know full well, you deserve someone amazing, and someone who sees the amazing in you. The trust is shattered here and that is foundational in a healthy relationship. And what you do not need... is a guy who cheats, lies and deceives. Get rid of him.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2006): Well I am sorry to have to say but he has cheated on his wife, and he's cheated on you as well. Your both in the same boat. I don't think you can trust him it must be difficult to work out which of you he is seeing? In my experience he will make a decision, and dump you as the wife has now found out especially if there are children involved. I wish you good luck but he sounds like a cheap, two timing looser, who probably brags to his mates I don't doubt you may have genuine feelings for him but in view of what he has put you through, don't fool yourself he can't have the 'right' feelings for you. Go and meat someone who wants to be with you send the cheat packing!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2006): I think you have to ask yourself this: would you have lied to him in the way that he has lied to you?
If you loved this man, but you were the one who were married, would you be up front with him, and be truthful? I think you would.
How can you really trust him ever again knowing that he is capable of deceiving you like that? I think if he were really as close as you are to him, he wouldn't have been able to lie to you. You may love him dearly, and do everything together, but his lies ultimately show that his priorities have always been with him, not with you.
His "constant" lies show he is selfish and has always put himself first, to deceive you like this shows he can't really care about you in the way you want him to, and there is no excuse to justify his behaviour.
You've only been together 6 months, you hardly know the guy, and I personally think you would be taking a huge risk having this guy as your boyfriend. For a relationship to work it has to be built on trust and honesty. With what has happened, your relationship will never have that.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do, but most importantly listen to that gut feeling of yours, for it is probably right.
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A
male
reader, Martyrmachine +, writes (17 July 2006):
 It depends how you like him. Do you think he's worth it? because he definitely found you worth more than his wife, although this could be a problem:a) he might have numerous other girlfriends apart from youb) he might act the same with you...just find someone new.another thing, is that that woman could be jealous of you, and trying to sabotage your relationship.ofcourse the best thing is to use your mouth - talk to him. talk things over. dont yell, scream, but have a calm talk. ask him if he has lied about his marriage, but dont go straight into it, build up the moment.If you do personally think that he is worth it, he could be your soulmate, he could give you all the happiness you could ever imagine for the rest of your life - i suggest you stay with him.If you think he's a trojan horse, who could hurt you again. stay with him for now, but try not to get too attached to him - use it as a sort of experiment to test his loyalty.you might be thinking that he lied to you about everything for the past 6 months, but there might be only one thing he lied about.still, i think the best thing to do is talk things over with him, and perhaps get in contact with his 'wife', to learn more about him.i hope things work out for you.:O
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