A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend friends convinced him that i've been cheating on him he has been suspicious ever since and accused me of many things that I wasn't doing at all.i never cheated on my boyfriend but he doesn't belive me. i'm now 7 weeks pregnant he left me and now has a new girlfriend he doesn't return any of my calls he told me to leave him alone and the baby isn't his, he insults me and he doesn't seem to care about me, he also said he don't love me anymore, i'm broken apart because he was my first love and my parents would kill me if they found out i was pregnant, i have no one to talk to and i'm all alone what should i do? I also forsaked all my guy friends for him, what should i do? i can't stop calling him because i love him so much!! and iam about to carry his baby.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): A lot of guys don't wanna be fathers yet at your age.
When a girl gets pregnant, then it's psychologically much easier for a father who wants out of the situation to convince himself that you weren't faithful to him. That way he doesn't owe you anything anymore. And the pregnancy is not half his fault anymore by this reasoning either.
I suggest that you get a paternity test done ASAP. (If you can't afford to get this done any time soon, then I think you need to be honest with yourself that you REALLY can't afford to raise a child in any way whatsoever right now. The price of a blood test is pitifully small compared to the overall cost of this child even in the short-term.)
The paternity test won't convince him that you never cheated, but it shuts down the idea that the baby isn't his and isn't his problem. Once he's started to consider the idea that the baby might not be his, then you'll never get the issue put to rest without a blood test. Get it.
And tell your parents. Sooner the better. Not telling them for a while won't make this baby go away, it will just give them less time to cope with the idea before the baby is actually here.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for the wonderful advice it was very helpful i appreciate it ...
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A
female
reader, samohir  +, writes (29 October 2007):
 What a swine! Im really compassionate with you, so do are All others who have taken time and gave opinion on ur question. Moreover,i beliave that your parents would be also compassionate, understandfull and helpful, so i Think the best move would be to tell them about. He seems to me like Non worthy man at all, and ur further calling in my opinion can bring u more hardships than benefit to your and the baby(if you decide to be born) situatuion.
The best way is to be alone, tell your parents, join maybe some clubs, go speak with friends, read good books,do things u want and gives u pleasure to overcome this difficult emotional situation...
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A
female
reader, Vixxy  +, writes (28 October 2007):
 Hiya,
I really think you need to tell your parents as a first step because they can help you....Yeh ok so they might shout at you but thats only because they care and want the best for you hun. They might even surprise you and not shout at all. But they need to know.
As for the guy, well, if he can get a girlfriend so quickly then maybe him and his mate cooked up the story of cheating because he was?...He clearly doesnt care about you and you dont need a guy like that.
Dont use ur pregnancy as an excuse to contact him, there are plenty of single mums about these days that are happy and you can be one of them. You need to get your friends back or make new ones, start going out to places, find new hobbies, anything to stop you calling him, dont dwell on the fact he doesnt want you, Be happy that he's gave you a fresh start.
I'm guessing your quite young as ur worried about telling ur parents and this is ur first love, the first love will hurt for a while and you'll think you cant get past this but seriously hun, everyone has a first love, everyone has been thru this pain ur feeling but it heals in time.
You WILL move on and find someone else who loves you and your child, If your only 7 weeks pregnant then (I'm not sure) but you still have options. I'm not saying abortion as i dont agree with it but if u feel u cant bring this child into the world then you really have to look into other options.
Try helplines, there free and confidential, you can talk to them any time of day or night, whenever you feel like calling him, call them!
Give him the kick he's gave you, stop calling him, men love the power of a girl wantin them an seein as hes dumped u right in it, dont let him win!.....Move on with ur life...Be happy....When u see him walkin down the street just look at him an laugh cos ur better off without him.
Another tip for ya....Get ur hair done....buy some new clothes.....anything to give u a bit of a boost of confidence...It works wonder i can tell ya lol
Take Care hun an if u need us we're here for you. :o)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2007): You are going to have to tell your parents and the sooner the better. You need medical attention. Have you decided whether you are going to keep the baby? Either way get checked out at the doctors. If you need an abortion this need to be arranged sooner rather than later. Talking to your parents will be hard at first but it has to be done. The support and advice they will give you is much needed right now. You cannot go on like this.
Next step. Stop phoning him. He knows the situation and he has moved on. Dont go crying to him anymore. He isnt interested and will make things worse. No one can make this decision for you so you need to be clear in your head just what you are going to do.
Life will be very hard bringing a baby up on your own, where will you live? How will you support the baby and yourself? Where is the money coming from? If you have an abortion then you will need after care. Get in touch with me if you want.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, elliebellie +, writes (28 October 2007):
this guy sounds like a right t**t. you must be feeling pretty alone right now. you need someone to talk to and that someone is not your boyfriend. i would leave him alone because wudnt it be better when your baby is born not to have a father than someone who is constantly in and out of their lives and causing trouble. you really need to tell your parents. i know itll be hard but they should understand when you tell them about your situation. theyll blame this guy not you! try and phone a helpline the the good samaritans. they are free and confidential. i would definetly try this out if you find you cannot talk to you parents. gather you strength and god bless you and your unborn child. good luck for the future as well. hope this helps
ellie
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A
male
reader, dapone 1 +, writes (28 October 2007):
 Dear Anom
I am very sorry to hear that you have been put into this situation, friends sometime through envy make up stupid story to their mates, because they are jealous of the relationship the friend is going through, he does not deserve either of you, in your situation, i do not know how he has the nerve to abandon you like this, it goes to show how immature he really is and how much better off you really are without him.
Some people, thou i do not understand why, get great pleasure in hurting others, the more you phone him, or contact him the more he will hurt you, and you do not really want him to do that to you any more,it is not good for your health.
you really need to contact a friend or a Doctor who can help you through this period, you cannot go it alone, are there any organization you can turn to for help?,if so contact them, they will be able to help you and care for you both,i am sorry that i cannot give you any better advise.
keep well, be safe and i hope everything will work out for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2007): I have just been in the same situation my fiance left 2 weeks ago, but i'm not pregnant, but he has a new girlfriend. I think you should tell your parents and yes they may be mad at first but then they will support you. I know its hard but leave him to it. Your unborn baby doesn't need a man in and out of its life giving it no true security of a father figure. You, with the support of your parents will probably give your baby the best life and security that it needs. I really hope this has helped you hunny.xxxx
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