A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm married to a serving British soldier. After moving to Germany with him, i ended up sleeping with a work collegue. I felt awful, disgusted and ashamed, and so i told him what had happened. About a month later he came home drunk and assaulted me for over 2 hours and attempted to strangle me. I left him. He had never been violent in the past.Now i think i want him back, it's been a year since we split, and he's due to go to Afganistan soon. I'm terrified something will happen to him when he's away and he wont know how i feel.We are in touch on facebook but i can't phone him. What should i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): Tell him how you feel but also tell him that there is too much history and damage to make it right again - because this is fact. Wish him luck and a safe return.
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (14 May 2008):
 Hi,
sorry mate, but you really have to accept that you have no future with this man.
Firstly I am sure that your infidelity was a key factor in him assaulting you. But let me make this clear, nothing ever excuses assault on a woman by a man. Secondly you wouldnt have been unfaithful to him if you truly were in love heart and soul with him.
He has crossed a line, and moroever, if you go back to him you are affirming that violent behaviour is acceptable in future. Believe me the beatings won't stop, they never do.
Understand that most men find hitting a women a despicable act. Your ex got away with assaulting you, taking him back will only lead to more violence as you have shown him that you are prepared to accept the odd beating as part of being married - it is no way to live your life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): Leave him be. Under no circumstance should you put yourself in the orbit of someone's who's physically abusive. Besides, it's clear you never really loved him in the first place or you'd never have chosen (and, yes, it was a choice) to do something so devastatingly hurtful to him as screwing someone else. Seems you both could do better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): okay i don't think you should be with him... he tried to hurt you .. but i ll tell you this iam in love with my ex and he the same way viloent and aggressive he hasn't hurt me but his words and way he is and i hate it when i ask foor help and they say leave him stay away :) cuz i know how u feel you care so much and you just want to be with him ... tell him how you feel before its too late don't wait.. it sucks becuz you shouldn't be with some1 like dat... i know you want me to say let him know and all that the truth is its for the best stay away:) he tried to really hurt y u wanna be with someone like that.. if you really cant be without him and dying to let him know then do it but if you can go on then its even better alot better ... try to let go and not think about :) just try i noe its hard :(
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