A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have known this guy for about a year now. We met through working with a service organization and have been friends ever since.I like him and think there might be a connection . I have been wanting to tell him and see where it leads.However, he currently has a girlfriend (about two months) but I don't know how serious it is.I would like to give it a try and see where it leads but I, in no way will ruin a relationship over it.I am just trying to see if it has ever crossed his mind.So, should I tell him that I am interested in him? If so, How can I say it without sounding pushy or desperate?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2014): You say 'I, in no way will ruin a relationship over it'. Then don't ask whether he feels the same way about you. If you were in a relationship with him and another girl was talking about her feelings and what might happen if you weren't with him, how would you feel?
In the very least this would not be a very good way to start off your relationship. Wait until he's available before saying anything. If it happens, it happens. If not, then it was never meant to be.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 October 2014):
 I'm going to be blunt here.
DONT be stupid.
HE already has a GF, so you confessing how you feel is not going to change how he feels about HER.
IF he had wanted to stay single or DATE you.... HE wouldn't be DATING her.
Why wait till he has GF to decide NOW is the time to tell him?
Don't BE one of "those girls" who think that because they WANT a guy they should HAVE him. You are being a lousy friend. It's downright disrespectful to his GF and even If you don't know her... you should consider that YOUR action will affect more than JUST you.
The whole:
"I am just trying to see if it has ever crossed his mind."
It is bullshit. YOU want to date him and he isn't available right now, which might make him MORE interesting in your eyes. But it's still not OK.
Take a few minutes and consider HOW you would feel if HE was your BF, and some chick decided that because she has KNOWN him longer she should be dating him? Bet you wouldn't like that.
Those two may or may not work out, if they do, well then you are going to have to accept you missed the bus, if they don't work out, and he becomes single THEN you can tell him. Though it may still not work out. AFTER ALL he has known you for a whole YEAR and never asked you out? Does that sound like a guy who is interested?
Think before you act. Use some common sense.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2014): If someone was in a relationship, no matter how long, leave them alone.
If they were interested in dating then they would not be in a committed relationship.
But are they committed? How serious is their relationship? Who knows, but it's none of your business.
If a man came up to me knowing I was in a relationship and told me he was interested in me, I'd find it disrespectful. If someone did the same thing to my boyfriend, I'd be quite upset.
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