A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a 20 year old female. My boyfriend and I started dating in our Senior year of high school and were together for two years. Our meeting was rather unusual, he was the friend of a guy who I was dating, R. R. introduced us and we ended up becoming great friends. When R.and I broke up, he was there to help me through it and the two of us ended up getting together. Our relationship was great, but at times I found myself thinking about my ex (R.) who I had never completely got over. We still talked as friends and my boyfriend knew about it. The summer before we left for college, R. told me that he wanted me back and I found myself trying to choose between the two. I loved M., but I knew I still had feelings for R. and I wanted to know what they were about. So, in the dumbest decision I have made in my life, I decided to break up with M. and date R. for awhile, just to see how serious the feelings were. R. and I ended up sleeping together, but afterwards I realized that M. was who I really wanted to be with and I went back to him. I told him what happened and he was initially hurt, because he was my first and I had been with noone but him, but said that he got over it after a while. Things were great again after that, we went to college together and had an amazing Freshman year together.Things didn't get rocky until the beginning of our Sophomore year. Right before our 2 year anniversary, M. started saying that he didn't want to be in a relationship anymore. He initially said he just didn't feeling like dealing with the "responsibilities of a relationship" and that he wanted to experience the single life. However, after a while, he eventually told me that he was hurt by what I did with R. and that he never got over it. Why it took so long, I dont know but he said he lost his love and respect for me because of it. I was heartbroken. I did everything I could to try and get him to come back. I apologized over and over, promised to always be faithful, and anything else that I thought would help. However, he continued to ignore my calls and reject me. I spent the past few months severely depressed.Finally, on New Years, I called him and he said he was ready to try our relationship again. I dont know what that was about because not much has changed. He still says he doesnt want to be in a relationship, he just wants to "date/talk" for now. He still ignores my calls, yells and hangs up on me, doesn't call me, and is extremely disrespectful. Whenever I ask him about our relationship, he gets upset and says something like, "Why do you have to ask so many questions? What difference does it make?" He expects me to just wait around on him.I really love this man with all of my heart. When things were good between us, he was the best boyfriend I could ask for. He really cared for me. Its terrible that it took this disaster for me to see it, but I really dont want anyone but him. However, I feel like I am somewhat being used and abused.Is this my fault? Should I continue to deal with it? What do I do from here?
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female
reader, Lucyx  +, writes (19 January 2009):
 He will be hurt for the time being, but if you really want you and him to work you will just have to work at it. You have hurt him, like everyone else says but the past is the past and you have to work through it. Try to convince him how sorry you are but if he doesn't have any of it then am afraid you have to let him go.
x
A
male
reader, mrflip +, writes (19 January 2009):
As the previous poster mentioned, you completely broke his trust and that is not a very easy thing to get back. You should probably consider this relationship over and move on with your life.
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A
female
reader, stepie82 +, writes (19 January 2009):
you hurt the trust between the two of you know he is going to be constantly comparing himself to your ex thats not good. you hurt the trust in your relationships
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