A
female
age
36-40,
*edupmommyoftwo
writes:there is this guy I have known him for two years he permanent custody of his two boys who are 4 and 6 he is a decent man as far as being good to his woman but the only problem his he lives off welfare and has been in a homeless shelter with his children for the whole two years I've known him he doesn't want to work he loves me and i just don't what to do i have two children of my own and when i started to work i brought his children clothing. he begs a lot but he is a very nice person what should i do he really wants to be with me but would you be with a man with two children already and you have your own knowing he is a leach to others Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (6 July 2010):
This guy won't even work for the sake of his kids, let alone himself or you. That's shocking. I know men and women who clean toilets to make sure there is food on the table for their kids. This guy is a total deadbeat. He can be as nice as he likes. But he's a lazy deadbeat who would rather stay in a shelter and not work than work even just for the sake of his kids. I wouldn't touch someone like this in a million years.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2010): I feel sorry for his children, because he doesn't want to work. I believe you are feeling sorry for them, too, and that helps to draw you toward him. A welfare cheque might buy a place in the shelter and some food, but not a great chance at a wonderful future, for his boys. It costs way more money than welfare provides to allow for great schooling and potential for his boys to succeed when they get older, in every facet of life. First, take the time to think hard about what he's NOT giving his kids, and then take even more time to think about how you'd be the only one REALLY supporting them fairly, to give them the life they'd rather have, given the chance. He made it clear that he doesn't want to work, so you'd be the one working hard to offer a decent upbringing to his children, while he's being lazy and doing nothing...being a bum, as you say. If that's alright with you, then go ahead, but know that he most likely will never show enough effort and enthusiasm, or work together as a team with you, and therefore you'll be giving all of yourself to him and his boys while he gives you nothing. Short version.. he may try to show a simple, lacking and often dangerous form of love and support to his children for as long as he exists, but he'll never offer you anything, as long as you're working and he's not. Bums take and take, with no intent on going out of their way to one day give. The only time they'll change for the better is when they feel they have to. I guess in the end, it's your choice, though, and if you feel like living a one way street of love, and doing 95% of the work and support, go ahead, noone can belittle you for it. After all, love is love, and if you feel it and want to act on it, go ahead, as long as you put ALOT of thought into it first. Hey.. maybe his children will have a way better chance at a happy and colorful life, if you enter the picture..
...............................
|
