A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So recently my boyfriend of 8 months confessed to me that within the last couple of months he has been getting really nervous about having sex with me because hes worried he cant stay hard anymore. A couple of months ago it happened a couple of times (he went soft) and I didnt realise how it affected him emotionally. It happened again recently and I got worried because I thought it was me, that I wasnt turning him on etc etc. But now that I know hes been worried for so long and that hes been nervous for so long I want to make him feel better. He says he finds it hard at the moment because he just keeps constantly worrying and he cant relax properly and get in the moment. Hes 22 so its not an age issue with him, I pretty much think its all psychological. I just want him to feel good again about himself so he can relax and enjoy sex and not worry. Any suggestions? hes too scared to have sex at the moment and says he feels pressure from me to perform even though I said there is no pressure- it makes him feel worse. So any help would be great, thank you. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (1 March 2010):
 Overcoming his fears will take time and it is best to stay of sex for the time being until he is ready to try again.
Let him initiate it when he is ready.You should allow him to lead you on and play a passive role.In this way , he won't feel pressured to perform.
Take it slow. Maybe just kissing and holding hands for now.If he is comfortable , proceed to touching or petting each other.
Have fun and do things together and take his mind of sex.
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (1 March 2010):
 mmm.. if he get's hard enough during this, place Mrs kitty cat right on top of Mr Johnny Penis... that's what I like to think of as an advanced kiss..
If your boyfriends masturbating by himself, tell him to stop for a little while, cause Johnny won't be hungry enough if he's already been fed.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (1 March 2010):
Tell him the story of stupid Johnny and Mrs Kitty Cat while you strip. It's best for him to be naked and you to be dressed, and stripping as you talk.. This will arouse him, and he will see, that his penis definitely can come up and get hard...
The story of Stupid Johnny and Mrs Kitty Cat
Once upon a time there was a boy and girl who were totally in love. The wanted to show their love by getting close and having sex. Everything went fine, boy loves girl, and his "Johnny Penis" got on with her "Pussy Cat" just fine.
Now Johnny Penis is real dumb, what he likes more than anything in the world is doing the dirty with Mrs Kitty Cat. But he's only human, he's only flesh and blood, sometimes he gets tired, sometimes he's stressed out, sometimes he just can't get bothered and then he goes to sleep. Mrs Kitty Cat hates this, but she can wait, her girl has a boyfriend, who has hands and a tongue, so no matter what happens, she knows she'll be having fun.
Happy ever after... NOPE.. Cause we still got the boy who is getting in the way. The girl and her pussy cat, and Mr Johnny Penis, would all have fun eventually. Mr Johnny Penis forgets most things when he's faced with sex. Mrs Kitty Cat knows that lots of things feel fun. The girl don't have no problem, she's just unhappy because the boy feels sad.
Now why is the boy feeling sad. CAUSE HE'S BLOODY THINKING TO MUCH. So what if Mr Johnny Penis got tired one day, everyone gets tired. One day it will happen to the girl, even Mrs Pussy Cat get's a couple of days off once a month. The boy keeps worrying and worrying about sex stuff, Mr Johnny Penis can't breathe, he's got too much anxiety from all the bad stuff the boy keeps telling him.
Now, if the boy could just relax and lay back.. hell, Mr Johnny Penis is ready, Mrs Kitty Cat always has fun, the girl wants to help everyone out.. In this situation, it's best if the boy relax, he's confusing everyone. Girl takes charge, Johnny Penis stands up, and kitty cat is happy because she's been lonely so long without Johnny to kiss.]
END OF STORY... HAPPY ENDING
Best to be stroking him every time you say Johnny penis, stroke his head everytime you mention boy, and stroke your vagina everytime you say mrs kitty cat... End it all with a kiss on his forehead, his chest and a little kiss for poor old Johnny Penis.
Hope you get the idea, make it fun, make him stop thinking so much. Make him realise that his anxiety is making things worse and stopping Johnny from getting to work.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (1 March 2010):
Stop worrying about intercourse and go back to foreplay and such. And make sure that he's not stressed out of the bedroom. Often these problem originate outside of the bedroom.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2010): tell him to forget about full intercouse just have fun other ways oral ect massarge sex can be fun show him some fun things best of luck
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