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female
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anonymous
writes: I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years. I love him with all my heart, and we have certainly had our ups and downs. I feel like our relationship is falling apart. He's become pysically and emotionally abusive, and has threatened to become physically abusive. He puts me down in every way, shape, and form. He's like a time bomb. I never know what his mood is going to be like. One minute he's hot and then next he's cold. He has a drinking problem, and a weird-sick kind of relationship with his mother. I didn't realize it in the begining. Me and my boyfriend live together and she calls him all day at least 20 to 30 times a day. I used to talk to her but them she turned hateful and jealous for no reason. His father lives right next door and is always in our bussiness the same as the mom. I'm so stressed out. What do I do?
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female
reader, Delila +, writes (3 September 2005):
You poor thing, my heart goes out to you. The first step you need to take is to look at your self and see what is it about your boyfriend that attracts you to him. Do a self-esteem evaluation, there are web-sites that do questions and answers to help you to rate yourself. Chances are if you are in love with a guy like this your self-esteem is at rock bottom. Find out ways of raising your self-esteem and follow them through. You don't have to share this with your boyfriend. Really focus on your self for a week. You might find that it is very hard to end a relationship like this. Your boyfriends' behaviour might get worse if you suggest you want to end it. You will need the support of some friends. Make your self an emergency plan in case he gets violent if you try to leave him, do some planning ahead of time, get the number of the local police force in case you need them and see if there are any womens' refuges in your area, work out how you would get there. This all sounds very heavy but after being with a guy for two years who is emotionally/physically abusive your mind may be foggy. Mind yourself.
Delila
A
reader, pops +, writes (3 September 2005):
obviously, the first place to look is at the relationship between your bf and his mother. He may be the victim of abuse, both emotional and physical. He is obviously taking his frustration out on you. Tell him " Never Again!" And mean it. He gets help, or you get out!
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A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (3 September 2005):
 You count your blessings, pack your stuff and leave. You leave for you, your sanity, yourself. Call a friend, call a family member, this will only get worse. Blood is thicker than water honey. Abuse is wrong. You may love him alot but sweetie...love you more. NO ifs ands or buts...love yourself more to want what you deserve for the beautiful person you are. YOu don't deserve this okay.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2005): Move out of his home. You don't deserve to be pysically abused to and it's like he's bullying you. He doesn't deserve someone like you so stand up to yourself and dump him for your sake.
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