A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I have been with my boyfriend for a bit over a year now. I have fallen in love with him and completely have devoted myself and my life to him. BUT-- Just a day ago, I found out before he knew me he had taken part in over 50 sexual relations (not sex, just lots of touching and grinding with sluts and strippers). If it were even 3 women he did that with in the past, i would still find it wrong. I just really believe that actions like that with women you aren't committed to is disgusting!I have absolutely no idea what to do. I am disgusted with my own boyfriend and I hate him for it. I'm so confused and hurt I could die. Yet at the same time, I don't believe I could find a man that could be my best friend the way he is to me.What on earth do I do, Cupid?!??!! :(Any advice to this situation?Thank you in advance,-Lisa Denise
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2008): Its his past not his present with you. Lucky him and it should be lucky for you in the future so much experiance think you might be in for a few treats.take advantage of his experiances and get him to work his magic on you now.
A
male
reader, apathyslastkiss  +, writes (4 December 2008):
 Lisa,I feel for you. That is a rude awakening in your relationship. I have two things to say. You're right to question him as a person after finding out about this. I understand you must feel deceived, and you're right to be disgusted by sexual relations with someone you're not committed to. A past can seriously effect a person's present, and future. However, it does not necessarily mean that this guy is rotten all the way through. If you truly do love him, you will be able to forgive him, despite how much you may feel hurt by this. If you don't think you can forgive him, then you need to question the relationship, and figure out what your feelings towards him actually are. It is great that you guys are like best friends. So, don't be hasty. Take some time to figure things out on your end, but also make sure to talk to him, and try and figure this out together. If he has been such a great person and friend for you, then you shouldn't just give up right away. Work at it, talk to him, take some time for yourself, and figure this out. Good luck to you Lisa, I hope things work out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2008): it is his past and you need to look to the future. ok he was a male whore but he obviously loves you bcos he's told you about his past and don't want to hide nothing. i know you're not but if you were an escort for a year when you were younger you wouldn't want t o tell anyone but he has told you has't he? if you love him his past shouldn't matter.
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta  +, writes (4 December 2008):
 "50 sexual relations (not sex, just lots of touching and grinding with sluts and strippers"how'd you come to the conclusion they're sexual relations with no sex?being in a strip joint and getting a bump and grind from "Crystal" isn't exactly having "relations"I'm goign to assume ( and assumption is the mother of all f**k-ups ) that you are or were till recently a virgin?If you are still a virgin, then you can't just go around call any girl who has had sex wih more than 3 peple a slut. thats almost as narrow minded as saying he only looked at them and had dirty thoughts and now they've all turned in to std dripping, cracked out hookers.People have sex. people like sexual things.if you're no longer a virgin and he is your second or thrid then.. well that, by your logic would make you a slut also.you do seem to have a weird view on sex and relations in general. what if you and him start bumping ulgies and within 3 weeks of REALLY getting to know each other you find there isn't actually any real attraction. does that make you disgusting? does it make him disgusting?fooling around and experimenting is perfectly normal and natural. As long as protetion is involved. if there wasn't then.. yeah ok thats pretty gross and if thats the case have him to for a std test. and if you've had sex with him, do the same.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2008): Don't over react.
its in the past.
hes older and wiser. enless he still does it now, then hes perfect for you.
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