A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a relationship with my current boyfriend for three and a half years now, we live together, and our he is close to my family. He is the perfect man for me to marry. He is kind, smart, responsible, and he loves me. The problem is that he is only the second boyfriend I have ever had. I go to college and everyone around me is still dating around and isn't in a super committed serious relationship like I am. All my friends seem to be having a lot of fun exploring different people and being young. My relationship is well past its honeymoon phase and is very comfortable, we both expect to get married when I am done with school, but I feel like we've been married for 10 years already. I feel like I am 30!! Seeing this difference between people my age and me makes me feel like I am missing out on just dating, and flirting, and having fun like my friends are.Sometimes I run into guys that I have to work with and when they show interest in me it makes me wish that I was able to just go on a date, or even just flirt without it being awkward. I would never do anything to hurt my boyfriend or compromise our relationship. But I'm wondering if it's normal to feel too young to be so committed and to want to date others before settling down? How do I manage these feelings? What do I do?I feel like I met the perfect guy too early. It's a strange thought to write down but I think perhaps the best way to describe what I'm feeling is that I wish that we could both just date other people for a few years and then resume after.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2013): If he is great like you say then you are the fool for giving him up or I am sorry you feel you have missed something or missed getting banged by other men i do not know what you mean but i can only guess this. Dating today is very different and could be a eye opener.I agree with what female anonymous stated about the kind of men you will encounter when you want to date around. Read what she said and i agree dead on. I have a cousin who experienced this very thing and that was only six months ago. She had a great man, she had not dated or had a lot of sex with different partners she thought she would suspend the relationship and go and experience true dating. She went to a respected dating site and her experiences began with a real bang. Her first date was a Psychopath who just got out of the local holding facilities. Great guy while taking his med, when he forgot heaven forbid he went a little nutty and stalked my cousin like if she was some kind of prey. It finally ended when a court order restraining order was put into effect. Her second romance was a true date from hell. From the moment she met this man and went out on their first date he was talking marriage and commitment.She had to do this, she could not go out with her friends any longer,yep this one crashed and burned real fast to. Then the other couple of dates she had almost got her raped and brutalized and it was her luck that close friends intervened and helped her out or God knows where and what would of happened to her. So its been almost seven months now and she has had enough. First thing she did was to try and reconnect with her boyfriend who reluctantly agreed like what you want to do and date other people. But guess what, a old girlfriend of my cousin heard that she stopped dating her boyfriend and has moved in for the kill. She now has my cousins x boyfriend wrapped around her finger and she could not be happier. Everything that my cousin did not like to do with her now x boyfriend this women had no problem in dishing out in huge quantities.
So think very carefully before you do what you want to do, my cousin is over at my place again tonight crying that she made the biggest mistake in stopping her relationship with her boyfriend. Now she wants no she is demanding i fix her up with my close buddy who i have grown up with. Where do you think this is going to go? It is going nowhere. My last bit of advice is this, dating is not like watching the bachelor or bachelorette. There are a few prince charming s left out there. If you want to get laid by a couple of different men by all means go and do it and work the lust out of your system. But by no means should you let this great guy go for any reason. Think carefully but do not let this Prince Charming go for any reason. Just read some of the horror stories in dear cupid, they are real and do not say that could never happen to you.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2013): If you have a "break" with your BF to see other people with his consent then let me warn you about a huge problem that commonly comes up - the boundaries.
Is it just okay to get to know guys as friends, or actually go on "dates?" What about kissing and cuddling? What about sex? How much feelings developing with someone else is okay?
DO NOT leave these kinds of specific issues unspoken and just assume you and your BF are both basically seeing eye-to-eye about them. You probably are not.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2013): The grass is always greener ...I wanted to date around too, but everytime I did, I ran into jerks that either a) only wanted one thing (sex), or b) wanted serious committment STAT. I almost always had a boyfriend because many of those men refused to let go. Just saying that dating around and flirting seems like it would be fun, but it's not what it's cracked up to be.Why not tell your boyfriend that you miss flirting/dating around and suggest that you bring those aspects into your relationship. Pretend you're meeting for the first time, maybe even go so far as going to a bar separately "meeting" and flirting all night as you get to know ech other (maybe certain aspects of your personalities will shine through that way. Another time, you can try it at a book club or a coffee shop or an art show or a hockey game ... you get the idea. I know that you would want to have a break to date around and then go back to what you have, but that's harder to do than a person would think. What would the purpose of dating around be? I don't think there's any way to do that without hurting his feelings and what if he agrees to it himself? How would you feel? Hopefully, neither of you would be bothered by it and hopefully, it will give you two a chance to miss each other.
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