A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:rite well theres this guy i hav known on and off for over 2 years. hes 15 (im only 13) and is a bit of a scally and is associated with a few dodgy people in the area.i hadnt seen him 4 ages until wednesday when he saw me washing cars and came over to say hi. we had an almost romance last year but then i moved away (i hav since moved back into the area).anyway when i saw him the other day he said i should go 'chill' at his house some time. i went round today and it ended with me sitting across his lap with him stroking my thinhs and further up (under the pretence of playing nervous). we didnt kiss or anything (i played hard to get and said hed have to work 4 it) and then he asked me out. i said yes so were going to the cinema tomorrow.he has a reputation of using girls and i asked him today if it was true and he said that it used to be but that hes not like that anymore. he was so sincere about it so i think i believe him.also, i said before that hes a scally, well when im with him if i ask him not to do things or not to be that way then he wont and hell walk me home and stand up for me if people are being mean or rude to me.i really really like him and want to be with him but im know that my family wont approve and wont let me go out with him (my sister knows evberybody in the area and has said hes scum on numerous occasions).what should i do?????sorry that this has been so longthank you x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2008): oh i told him that im not easy and that if he wants to get any further then hell have to'woo' me. he said that he doesnt do that but when i got up as if to leave he asked me on a date so im guessing that hes respecting my wishes.
thanks for the answers so far
x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2008): Where there's smoke, there's fire.
You know he's likely to be a player. If he shows signs of being a player towards you and you still want to go after him, then you have nobody to blame but yourself if you end up too attached to him to leave but very unhappy with how he treats you.
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A
female
reader, PsyCookie  +, writes (3 August 2008):
 I'd say follow your instincts and go out with him, but still keep a watchful eye. Don't let him take you for a fool.
Now, he may have as well been redeemed for his past actions. Age hits well with these kind of people, but also experience too. You can't right away trust his every word just because he looks sensire. I mean, he has a reputation because he had lots of girls who he charmed away, and how do you think he could get them? By lying with his poker face.
But you can give him a second chance, but like I said before, don't let him take you for a fool because you'll just end up like his other conquests. You letting him stroke your thigh gives him signs that you will be an easy person to bed. You may think "but we didn't do anything/there's nothing wrong with it", but the leg of a woman is one of the sexual symbols in the people's minds. Sorry, but that really doesn't sound "play hard to get", but more like you are a "tease" (which is entirely different).
Now what you have to do for this guy to treat you differently is to make yourself be respected by him. If he goes too far (like stroking your leg), immediatelly stop him, tell him to not do this until later in the relationship. Do what other kids your age do, like holding hands and kiss on the lips. That's what you could get so far (from now).
The reason why I'm telling you to tell him to keep his hands off of you is because there's a reason he's a player and why so many girls see him as a bad guy: because he got what he wanted, and the fault here is not only the guy's, but the girl's as well. My mother has always told me "a guys goes as far as the girl lets him" and in the majority of cases, that rings true. The reason he kept changing girls is because they went too easy on him and he didn't end up valuing them because of that. Now, you say you will "play hard to get", so really take the part and respect yourself and let him know that. If he's a changed man as he is, then he will respect you and stay with you in a loving relationship.
I will say to not listen to what others say because everyone deserves a second chance. You have to comfirm yourself if he's a changed man or not, but let's hope that you don't learn it the hard way but in the intelligen, intuititive way.
Good luck, have fun, and be careful!
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