A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Background: I've been seeing this guy since December, and I really like him, but I've been trying to play it cool. I don't call or text him every day, more like every other or every couple of days, and we will hang out for a couple days at a time and then go a couple days without seeing each other. We are sleeping together. We haven't had, and I have not tried to initiate, the "what are we" conversation, but it's definitely more than a booty call deal. We both had time off work last week so we took a five-day road trip out of state together and at one point in the conversation while driving he jokingly insulted me about something. I said something back to the effect of, "I cannot believe you just said that! Sorry, but we cannot be friends anymore" (joking too, of course). He laughed and then said "I'm not this friendly with all my friends." He has many female friends, which doesn't bother me (and I have told him so) yet every time he mentions one of them he goes out of his way to tell me that this person is just a friend to him, either by saying so explicitly or mentioning their significant others in the same conversation. I'm as certain as it's possible to be that he's not seeing anyone else right now.Sounds like a good guy, right? Here's where it gets a little confusing. Shortly after I started seeing him (early January, maybe?) he borrowed my computer for something and apparently didn't clear the history when he was done. I didn't go looking through it on purpose but when I went to visit another website starting with the letter "P," PlentyOfFish.com (a dating site, for those unfamiliar with it) appeared in the drop-down list of websites automatically suggested to me by my browser. I knew I hadn't been looking at that site so it had to be him, and sure enough, the link in the history led me to his profile. I chose not to mention anything to him, and still haven't. Sure I was annoyed, especially since we were already sleeping together, but I also wasn't inclined to throw away a good thing over something that still seemed pretty trivial. After all, we'd never agreed on exclusivity... I couldn't fairly be mad about it.I do try to be open-minded, but still, I'm only human. I'm not going to lie, once I knew his profile was there I couldn't help but be curious about it. Over the next couple weeks I revisited the site a few times to see if he was actually using it (one of the site's features tells you when a user was last active.) He was logging in almost every day up until about a month ago, but he hasn't used it since. I know he has no idea that I know about it, so that can't be why he would have stopped. Could this mean he has finally decided I am worth being serious about? Any opinions are appreciated :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2011): I think you misunderstood my question. He's *not* using the site anymore, and since I didn't ask him to stop, I'm wondering why else he might do that. Thanks for the answer though :)
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