A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i've been with my husband for 3 years every time my phone rings he wants to know who it is and what they say so i started doing the same thing to him and he began to get mad he has had a very bad temper lately he throws items at the walls or punches the i dont know what to do anymore Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (3 May 2011):
Hi there. You need to ask him what's going on in his life.
Ask him what is making him so unhappy.
(a) Pressure at work for instance?
(b) Does he have any money worries?
When you do talk to him about it, be kind and respectful and show him that you are concerned about why the change in his behaviour.
In any case talk to him about it, it's the only way.
There has to be a reason.
When he asks you who you were speaking to, just say - "A friend, that's all." And say no more. If he perseveres with asking more, just still say - "It's a friend, nothing exciting."
But don't do the same with him, just give him some space because that's not working for you. It's probably just making it worse.
It definitely sounds like he's got something on his mind, but the question is what?
Perhaps he feels like his life as no sense of purpose, maybe it's all work and no play for him.
Is he a nightshift worker? If so, he might be tired all the time.
If he isn't, he might just need to put more fun and excitement into his life.
Does he have any hobbies or interests?
That might be the missing link?
Has there been any deaths in his family or a close friend?
These things can affect a man in a negative way, as they don't know how to express themselves properly or show their feelings.
One question you DO need to ask him is:-
"Are you happy being married to me or, would you rather be single? Because I really need to know."
This will be a big reality check for him, knowing that you are thinking along these lines.
You can't go on like this, you have to find out.
Until you do find out, you can't do anything to help him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2011): My parents had this same problem, my mum put up with it for 20 years and she was getting to the point she felt she couldn't deal with it. She told him how she felt and stayed at my uncle's house for about a week. That way he realised what he had and she had time to think about her options. This only happened last year. But my dad decided anger management and marriage councelling would be a good idea. After they finished the councelling they were stronger than ever. My dad has controlled his anger and he's not controlling anymore.
But that's what I'd advise, of course I'm only 15 but I saw it all with my parents and it really worked for them. Maybe it might work for you too.
Hope this helps. Good luck with your decision.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2011): Hi!
Any past relationship trust issues between you two? That could be why he's asking about your phone. As for his anger, that sounds very dangerous and scary and such behavior has been noted in come cases as a foreshadow to physical abuse. Does he have any past mental disorders? Is he going thru a stressful time right now? Im not trying to justify his behavior, just trying to see why he could be acting the way he is so the root of the problem can be addressed.
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