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*itty05
writes: Hi I'm 20 and living in Spain due to my boyfriend, as we met here. We've been together for two years. Last year I went back to England to work for our own place as we lived with his parents. We now have our own place but have his sister and mum living with us as his parents have split up. It was meant to be temporary but they're still here, after 9 months. They help with food and pay half the rent, so that part is good. The trouble is all the housework gets left to me as I don't have a proper job. I work part time whenever I'm needed, which will probably end after the summer. So they don't help much in the house, which annoys me. Thers no sign of them moving anywhere fast and I try to drop hints to my boyfriend. He just says his mum can stay as long as she likes. I'm probably gonna go back home to work again this year although my boyfriend doesn't want me to. Also I have another problem: my boyfriend likes to chat to girls on the internet and sometimes calls one girl. It was for two hours, one time.. I know I'm jealous but he hardly knows her; it's not like she's a long lost friend. He has loads of friends who are girls. I met some who are nice. He never wants to spend much time with me when he's home from work he'd rather be sat on the pc. Sometimes I feel like leaving him altogether but I love him. What shall I do?
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reader, schlottjl  +, writes (24 August 2005):
 Leave as soon as you can. He is not respecting you, he is (at the very least) emotionally cheating by chatting with other girls and is in general disrespecting you. You are too young for this and it only will get worse.
While it is easy for me to say that there should be little to love save the hopes you had for the relationship, I do know that it is easier to say that to feel when you are involved.
Try this, go back to England to take a job, plan to stay for awhile. While there, limit talking to him to say once or twice a week for a short time. Get involved with life at home.
This will accomplish two things. You are not really leaving him so you will reduce your agony as you might transition. Also, you will find out what he really feels for you. If he feels threatened that you are gone, maybe he would have motivation to change. Short of possibly losing you (if he really does love you) nothing else will shake things up and nothing else will reveal his true intentions.
It could be that he really likes having a house keeper who is also available for sex. You would not want to keep that information away from yourself- trust me! Better to use this opportunity for growth and you never know. If absence make your hate grow stronger, well that is fine too.
You are too young to settle. As they say now days, don't waste the pretty.
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