A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I recently found out that my husband of 6 years, was talking to another woman, as far as I know talking and texting, but I also found out that he sent a few pics and videos to her as well, pics and vids of myself that I made for him and him only... he gave me a few excuses... 1. She ran a website wanted to cross refrence my crotch, to make sure I didn't do any videos.. 2. He wanted to show her who pinged him, who he fell in love with, wouldn't it make since to send her a pic of my face, she isn't even cute she is a nasty looking girl lives about 200 miles away so I don't think they ever met in person, but I feel so ashamed that he would do that to me, I am so worried that I am some where on the internet, I feel so dirty and humiliated, I kicked him out, tomorrows our anniversary 6 years. I am so unsure about everything it feels as if he ripped my soul completley out of me, took my privacy and personal life and gave it away, I'm so unsure what to do, I feel so sick and disgusting, I've lost the will for everything... I've got the paperwork for a divorce but am I going to far or what... please someone help I don't have any friends and no one to talk to.... thank you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009): your hb is a complete *ick. you have every right to be concerned whether you end up on some sleazy porn site, especially if you have made ranchy ids of yourself. even though it was meant for his eyes only, he betrayed you by sending vids of you on the net.i don't know how you can get them back, if ever but please do not make another video of yourself .EVER.whether to divorce him???? is he even worth keeping. so someone so low and so despicable why do you want the perv in your life anyway. he cares nothing if you end up on some adult site. not only was he cheating on you, he also humilitated you with the woman he cheated with. so will she forward the vid to others. who knows but you can put a stop to this by getting rid of the sh1t once and for all. next time he will try to get some money from your vids as well. this man cannot be trusted. so please do not trust him with anything in your life. he DID NOT make a mistake, he knew exactky what he was doing. maybe you should report him to the police so that he can see you mean business. report him and let the law take run its course. what a despicable man. run for your life. he is not worth it. sorry , i know he is your hb but someone who sends private vidoes of his wife to a stranger is a pervert and a coward. please investigate what recourse you have aginst him. you do not want to end up on a perverted porn site!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! get rid of this man who calls himself your hb. not only is he a cheater but a as*ho*e. DO NOT TRUST HIM.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009): He sent the pictures to show the woman what his %&$* looked like. It had nothing to do with you. She doesn't work for any site. He is just trying to get in the girls pants. Sorry.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (11 September 2009):
 I need to get my disclaimer out first. I do not in any way approve of what your husband has done. When you are in love and married you live at a level of trust that is so high that it is not found anywhere else. The most intimate secrets of your life are bare to your spouse. Because of that your spouse is the only person who can betray you so completely. That is the reason that divorces are so ugly. It is why in American society it acceptable to say or do just about anything to an ex-spouse. I don't agree with that, by the way. You are Hurt by his actions. The hurt makes you angry. While these emotions are not fun they are real and must be dealt with. Before you go forward with the divorce, or any form of revenge, you need to sit back and think about how you felt about him before this. Say one month ago. Think about what he means in your life and could mean in the future. We are quick to divorce and even quicker to revenge, Revenge only makes more people hurt more. I think the separation is good for both of you right now. It is, if nothing else, a good move for safety. I know you are crying and hurting, and the biggest question on your mind is "why?". Well it seemed innocent to him at first, just talking to someone online to pass the time. But he let it go to far. He may have gotten into an emotional affair, and that may have blinded him. It appears to me that she is using the relationship to con him. That makes him a victim in part. He still has plenty of guilt because he crossed lines that you two had established. I hesitate to cal it a mistake, more of a series of mistakes that continued to get more serious. One thing is certain you will need help to get through this. Weather you chose to divorce him, or forgive him. Talking here helps you to clear the air some, but you need a professional. So to summarize you asked what you should do, and I have advised you to look back on the whole relationship. Not to act in haste. Also to see a marriage counselor. I haven't told you to divorce him. And, I haven't told you to forgive him. It is not time for that decision yet. I have advised you to stay separated until it is safe for you two to live together. Keep writing, if it is helping the pain.FA
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A
male
reader, Beingblack  +, writes (11 September 2009):
 Oh my goodness. Are you going too far? No way, you aren't going far enough!Firstly, pictures and videos which are private for you and him exist, and therefore there is always going to be a small risk that they can end up being seen by anyone. I think there might be a law against online distribution against your wishes, but you need to check.If your husband loves you, there is no way he would do such a thing without your permission. Cross referencing your crotch? Dear oh dear. I (like many I guess) have made videos etc, but they are constantly under lock and key! I would be shattered and humiliated if they appeared on a website, and if my partner decided against my wishes to send them somewhere, I would consider legal action. You need to divorce this person, and consider further action. He has serious issues, and needs professional help. This may well be a 'sex offence', and I have no idea what the man was thinking. Sorry to say this about your husband, but he sounds a little creepy.
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