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female
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anonymous
writes: My fiance and i have been together 8 years and have a 3 year old son. We are from very different backgrounds as he is asian and due to this we have had to overcome many obstacles. From day one everyone has been against us except for a few close friends and yet we are still together as our love always pulled us through. The problem is that 3 months ago he started chatting to a lady who is also chinese and as he is on the phone, we barely see him. He comes home from work at around 9.00p.m, sometimes she'll sms him and he disappears till 04.00a.m. He flew to meet her last week for the first time and i felt i had to let him go as i love him so much and dont want to stand in his way. It was the worst 3 days of my life. This is not him, i dont understand it as he has always been devoted to us and we were always best friends. I need some advice, I dont know what to do and feel i cant go on. My child is suffering, his personality has changed. I cant give up, I cant, he is my entire world and i would go to hell and back for him and believe me this is hell, but compared to life without him, please i just need some help or advice
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (2 December 2005):
 Your child is suffering and you don't know what to do? You need to focus on what's best for your son. Any child is better off with one loving parent than two miserable ones. You may be happier than you think once you get away from the cheating S.O.B.. Your self-esteem will certainly improve when you don't have to deal with a cheater on a day to day basis. Since you aren't married I'd walk if I were you. Think of your son.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2005): You are idolizing this man at the cost of your self-esteem and personal value. I have to wonder why you tolerate this behaviour. True love is giving to each other, 100% on both parts. I can't understand, why you aren't kicking him to the curb, girl? Get into counseling and try to figure out why you are allowing him to wipe his shoes off on your back. Don't be a doormat. This is wrong so start setting some tough boundries....or just leave.
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A
female
reader, sexseahot +, writes (1 December 2005):
 It don't seem like this guy would do anything for you, so why would you do that for him? Have you talked to him about how he has changed and how you feel about that? Maybe he doesn't realize what he is doing to you and your child.
I just don't understand why you would let him go meet someone while you guys are together. If he is cheating on you and not giving you the attention you need, the relationship isn't going to work. It takes two people to keep a relationship together and it seems as if he isn't doing his part.
You need to let him know what he doing to you guys. This kind of behavior can not go on and it be healthy. You can't be so lenient to someone that is doing this to you. Don't let him walk all over you like you are doing. This isn't fair to you or your child. This really can't be healthy for your guys' child. Daddy going away to meet some other women. What's he going to think about that?
You can't let this man do this to you guys. You need to let him know that this can not go on like this and things have to be changed. Let him know you would go to hell for him, but this is going a little too far. He can't be going off meeting new women. Is he not satisfied with just you? If not then you need to let him go and let him do his own thing and you do yours. There are other people out there that wouldn't do this to a woman they love.
I hope some of my advice works. Just be strong and realize that you can do better than this and also think what's good for your child too.
Good Luck!
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