A
female
age
36-40,
*abygurl23
writes:well my name is kee kee and me and my kids father been together for eight years and its like its not there no more becouse through out our eight years he has cheated and i think he really has a promblem but he also has a controlling promblem i dnt knowm if its becouse he's nine years older than me or what but its like years are going by and our kids are getting older and he cant quit cheating on me its like hes not here for me becous when we in public he treats me very diffrent and he dnt want out but i do becouse i can keep doin the same thing and trying to make things work out for us and he wants to continue to live the same life style but its like im just through and ive been you know like trying to make it work but i just know its not so i need some advice please? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (15 January 2010):
 Have you got a plan in place for leaving? I understand how frustrating it can be, its as if you are beating your head against a brick wall, but you know deep in your heart he is not going to change, and if you stay there you will just shrivel up into not much at all.
Find out what help will be available if you do split, also find out what the legal situation will be for things like financial support from him, you dont say if you are working, but are you able to survive for a while without him until you can find work.
If you need to just keep quiet while you sort things out, so be it, but it does sound to me there isnt much future for you where you are.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2010): You sound very unhappy and i admire you for saying enough is enough. Its not easy to end a relationship. Especially when its going how the other partner wants it to go. But as you found out. You both have to be happy for it to work. I dont know how controlling he is or if he gets violent but take that into account before you tell him you want him to go. It might be better to move out for a while to family when you tell him its over. Be prepared for some hootin n hollerin. It sounds as if he had things running how he wanted them so hes bound to be cross. All the best x
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A
female
reader, FallenAngel19 +, writes (15 January 2010):
i've been in this situation. if he really wants you then he will make it work, but until he can learn to change girl, you need to get your kids and just leave. dont try to give him chances and dont tell him why,just start to avoid him, but wait a while and start to casually start to talk to him to see if he has changed at all and if not then you should look for you another man that would care for you and your kids and not put the cheating life in place for your kids to grow up watching and getting used to because they will turn out that way if they grow up with it
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