A
female
age
30-35,
*89456
writes:My boyfriend (he's 20) was really sweet since we got back together but now he's starting to be mean again. I asked him why he treats me so bad but he just gets mad and says that he treats me right. His ex which he had 2 kids with keeps calling my house and every time I ask him a question about it, he thinks I'm trying to start drama. He says that he would never cheat on me and that he doesn't want to let me go, but I found an email that he sent to this girl. He was asking her to come over his house. When I confronted him about it, he said that he was just playing around and that she lives too far away to come over. He said he did it because he knew I was gonna get mad. He tried to turn it against me by saying that I talk to guys too, but the guys I talk to, I have known for about 3-4 years and we are just friends. He told me to stop causing so much drama, but the fact that he told some other girl to come over his house bothers me so much. He has cheated on me before and I think he will do it again. How should I handle this? I don't know what to do any more. I really want this relationship to work because I love him but I don't think he loves me enough to care if he hurts me or not.
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cheated on me, got back together, his ex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): I agree with the other posting. If he is going to change, it will be a long process. AND he would have to change for himself...not for you. The email thing is a lie. You know it. Nobody "jokes" like that. He sounds very immature still. My opinion is that you should leave him. He sounds like someone who does not truly care for you. He seems selfish although you're giving him a second change. You're worth more than that and deserve someone who puts in 100%. That person is out there...but you won't find him by holding on to a loser.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): He's not good for you.
Either you leave him or you don't. There's no in between. There's no changing him.
There is no "I'm staying with you, but I'm not okay with ______." Because if you're not a threat to leave, then nothing will change. And if you don't actually leave, then you're not a threat to leave. So you have to leave. It is that simple.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): You should read the last bit of the last sentence you wrote. If you know that he doesn't care about hurting you, and he has already hurt you once before, then what other proof do you need that you should leave this guy?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): You should read the last bit of the last sentence you wrote. If you know that he doesn't care about hurting you, and he has already hurt you once before, then what other proof do you need that you should leave this guy?
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A
female
reader, ~AgonyAuntLaure~ +, writes (23 March 2009):
 If he has cheated before and you still believe he is it is very likely that he is! Maybe talk to him and tell him your worries but if you still continue to feel like he is cheating are you comfortable having a relationship with someone you cannot trust?
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