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female
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anonymous
writes: What should I do my guy is getting more tattoos???? He has 6 now and he is wanting a quarter sleeve and that isnt the guy I started dating 6 years ago. WHen we first dated till now he has always wore khakis and stuff preppy. Now he is cutting his hair short almost all off, getting tattoos, and taking D Bal a steroid. Every since he has started working with this offshore co. he has changed. I tell him I dont like the tats and he says well its my body. I said well I dont like them it bothers me. THe tattoo before this one he promised he wouldnt get another one and he took his brother to a GODSMACK concert and got one. Then I broke up with him, the next day he he went and got anther one. But we never have money to do anything on. But he can buy tatoos when he comes home. What do I do ???? I said when we have kids one day I dont want them to want tatoos. I dont know if he is talking to someone offshore, or what, use to he cared what I thought now its like WHATEVER its me not you. Should I be upset or not??? I thought if he cared about me breaking up with him enough he wouldnt have ran and got another one. I dont know if its the music that has gottin into him or what, the tattoos are skulls and something like a monsters hands tearing out of his skin. PLEASE HELP !
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2006):
I can really do without the tattoos. Especailly the "sleeves"- ugh.
Hre is some informaton about dianabol- as you can see it has positives and negatives. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dianabol
Anyway, the guy has moved on from the cute and cuddley image that you started dating. Why dont you start going to the gym with him and get some aquaintance with his new world so you can better judge his current path. You may be excited by his highenergy lifestyle when you understand it, or you may get enough information to judge its not for you.
A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (28 November 2006):
 Hi Anon,
Being someone who has a lot of tattoos myself, I can tell you that I see where your boyfriend is coming from. It is his body and if he is happy decorating it with his style of art, then you really need to let it go. It's nothing for you to fuss over because in the end all it adds up to is you not liking the way he looks. (BTW - has he asked you to change anything about the way you dress? Doesn't seem like it from your post.)
As for his personality change, that's something totally different. If he's treating you badly, then that is what really needs to be addressed, and not the tattoos. But if he's just getting into other music, dressing differently, and getting tattoos, it's not a big deal. People change all the time, you know? It could also be fun to help him decide/design what to get next. Try to turn it into something more positive (or at least something that doesn't bother you.)
Okay - and now for addressing the money issue. Since you say that he's spending all of his money on tattoos so that you two can't do anything, then something needs to change. There should be money for the BOTH of you to be happy, too. That doesn't mean that he can't get tattoos, it just means that he'll have to budget for them.
Let me ask you - you say that he never has money so you guys can't do anything - do you ever take the both of you out? There are always free things to do, too. It all depends on where you guys live, but lots of time there are museums, you could go to a park, etc. And I'm not saying that you are, but just make sure you aren't putting the pressure of him not taking you guys out *all* the time on him. That's not fair and it sounds like a lame excuse to try and talk him out of doing things you don't want him to do.
So don't worry about the tattoos, he's getting them for himself anyway. If you're unhappy about him treating you differently then address that. If it's infringing on the financial situation of the both of you, then you need to help him create a budget and stick to it.
Take care.
(PS - A parent having a tattoo doesn't make their kids want to have them. My parents had no tattoos and I have them. My father-in-law has tattoos and none of his 4 kids have them. But if it does happen, you'll cross that bridge when you get there. Just take things one step at a time.)
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A
female
reader, SexKitten69  +, writes (28 November 2006):
 Hi, If they bother you that much you should try to stress to him again about your thoughts on tattoos, i know not everbody likes them but he is right it is his body.
If he loved you enough he would take into consideration you feelings on the matter but to be honest he sounds like he is quite selfish.
If this is bothering you so much you are really thinking of staying with him to have kids? One day there will be a breaking point where you think ive had enough and if you have kids together surely he'll want their names as tats too! (They can be quite adictive).
You have two choices, either grin and bear this and get used to them or leave.
Only you can make that decission
Regards
xxx
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