A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why is my boyfriend doing this?my bf was really sweet.it took him 2months to kiss me. i asked he said hes got respect and didn't want to scare me off. whenever we made Iove it was beautiful, passionate and really tender. he was everything i could ask for.now he has realllly changed..so distant.. and has started saying im cheating on him and messing him about..(i'd never do that to him)i assure him am not cheating on him..we would make up settle the argument then he gets back to the same oh ur taking me for a mug.. ur messing me about blah blah and then he argues with me on stupid things and goes for days without calling me.then he'd call me and like hes checking up on me:(what should i do?? i love him every much but hes changed. he says he hasn't but i know he has.i think hes a bit insecure. hes always the quite shy type.hes 20thnx..xx
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female
reader, raiders  +, writes (14 April 2010):
 In all relationship of course the person is going to be in their best behavior they want to fancy you. Soon after they feel secure with the relationship there true self comes out. I think this is normal behavior, because they hit a point when they are secure to act normal in front of their new found love. He probably has always had insecurities issues you just didn't know cause he only showed you what he wanted you to see. I think you should talk to him, don't jump into any conclusion and let him know his attitude is bugging you and is pushing you away.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): Like another reader said, I believe he is cheating on u (or has cheated on u) and he is trying to shift the guilt he is feeling by blaming u for infidelity. u need to take a break, because this guy is taking you for granted. u need to take that first step to show that u are more worthy than he tries to portray u as.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 April 2010):
 How long have you been dating, and do you remember when you first started noticing his changes? It could be that this is who he truly is, but at the beginning he was holding back. Thats how it is with many people, you dont get to see their true faces until you're already in deep. I think that this is how he is now, and you must relate to this and not try and pretend that you are dating the man of your dreams. He might have been so great in the beginning, but that doesnt help now. He is making some pretty harsh accusations... Is this is everyday behaviour or does he do this every now and then? Anything that triggers the behaviour (you going out to clubs etc)? I heard from other people that the ones who cheat themselves often get paranoid about their partner doing the same. If you have any suspicions of this, maybe pay extra attention to his behaviour and patterns to bust him. Or you can simply leave because how can you trust a man who wont trust you at all..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): Wow... Drugs, Cheating, Using you... these are all high accusations for a story we know very little bit about.Listen, you know him better than any of us. From the sounds of your post, it could be a number of things. Yet, we really don't know him well enough to say.It is true that once he has lured you in with his sweet loving tenderness, he will soon show his real self. Which just may be- insecurity.Your instinct could be right, that he is just insecure. Before making any accusation that he is cheating on you, doing drugs, clinically depressed- sit him down and talk it out. Tell him to be up front and your not looking for a fight, but a way to help reassure him that you love him and only him. However, make a mention that you can not tolerate his throwing fits and accusations back at you- it is not helping your own self esteem when your own boyfriend feels mistrust by you when you have given him no reason to not trust you.Talk. Reassure. Come to terms of ways you can communicate better to let the other one partner know where eachother stand.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (14 April 2010):
 Sudden changes in personality are usually chemically induced. I smell a drug problem. Paranoia is a very common symptom of drug abuse.
FA
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (14 April 2010):
 People pretend to be someone else so that their victims can fall in love with an illusion.
Once he realizes he has you in his grip, he is going to drop the act and be who he really is.
This is the guy he is.
Leave him.
He is not worth it.
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (14 April 2010):
 He is definately looking for a way out and might have someone else. When someone cheats they tend to portray blame to their partners. Take a break from the relationship - not healthy to carry on.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (14 April 2010):
 Perhaps he's looking for a way out of your relationship. Would that be a possibility? Ask him if he wants to break up for awhile see what he says.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (14 April 2010):
 He has taken you for granted and does not show his appreciations for you anymore .
He is not only insecure but immature as well. It is going to take a lot of your goodwill to keep him by your side.
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