A
female
age
36-40,
*lexia846
writes:I am currently very confused and would like your advice..My ex of five years which was a ROCKY relationship has come back into my life, he left wanted a break and to make a long story short he has come back being a new sweet self... Even though i have told him things are not the same he always says he misses me and wants us together. Even though he broke my heart and left, i got over it and fell in love with someone else even though he had a GF. "I fell in love with his personality" He was actually sweet to me..My question is "Why do I feel guilty that I don't feel as much for my ex?" I do love him but going back after he broke my heart doesn't feel anything "it feels like an empty feeling"On the other hand every time i think of my former classmate even though it was platonic( I never revealed my feelings cause he had a gf) i start to fantasize of this love and passion.. something my relationship with my ex did not have...I always wonder if i will meet someone like him with that personality..I do love my ex but i think he realized that the "grass was not greener on the other side" during our break, and even though he was emotionally abusive he was still a part of me... but i find myself after experiencing appreciation from an older man, not even physically or emotionally attracted to my ex..i feel guilty because he is being so nice.. but i don't know if he is the one i've never been with any other man Im 25.. He says he has changed but i'm so confused and scared and curious of what real love would feel like...
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (31 March 2011):
You answered your own question:
Your love for your ex is gone and it will not return. No need to feel guilty, because you can't help how you feel. Besides, the whole "myself version 2.0" is probably an act to placate you. People don't suddenly change. I think he realized he liked it better with you and is trying to be the nice guy to win you back because he knows your weakness.
Do not fall for that BS. He has not changed, he is simply trying to get what he wants the smart way. If you give in, you will be unhappy. Stand up for yourself and what YOU want instead of what he wants. Your gut is telling you he's bad news but your head wants to give him a second chance. ALWAYS listen to your gut. It tends to be right in these things.
You're 25! Young with a world ahead of you! You will find real love, just not with your ex. Knowing that, why would you want to be with him? There's no good reason. Like my mom always says: "that's a book I finished a long time ago." You already know the ending with this guy. Find a different scenario.
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