A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So here's my problem... I'm 15 and have been with my boyfriend for the last 13 months. At first it started out and he was so perfect, but the last few months I've been having doubts. Everything he says annoys me, he's clingy he's turned all camp and he just doesn't know how to be a boyfriend! He's so wimpy and submissive, and I guess I used to think it was cute in a way... Now it's frustrating. That's not what I want from a guy. It feels like he's done everything to get me and keep me for a while, and now he's so sure he has me, he doesn't try! He's changed so much, and recently we went on a break from each other after something happened between us, I took him back but since then he's been so different. He's been acting a bit like a jerk which isn't him at all, he's a nice guy!Now the real issue that is confusing me is this: I'm only 15 and I guess that's a young age to have a long-term relationship anyway, but I'm starting to feel, stupid as it sounds, like I've been married 20 years! I obviously don't know what it's like to be married but the media constantly makes out like when you're young, it's great... Then when you get older you start arguing non-stop, both become repulsive to the other, you wish you could sew the other's mouth shut and you just stay together for the sake of it! And I'm 15, I'm right in saying I shouldn't feel like that, right?! In the beginning, we used to make plans about our future; our wedding, our lives, our home etc., and I know it's premature but it's what kids do, right? I'm not immature or anything but I really did used to believe I could never see myself with someone else! I used to love to hear him talk about the kids we'd have and that, but since this break he's given up on that thought. I did a few months ago if I'm honest, but he doesn't know that... But even said earlier that he'd like to move to Finland when he's older and maybe he'll marry a Finish girl! Am I overreacting here, or is it not unreasonable for him to say these things to me, and I know we're young but I'm still his girlfriend! I just wonder if there's any point in being with someone, even at this age, if both of us know that we're just gonna break up. Please do tell me if I'm sounding silly, I don't mean to, and I suppose I do tend to think of these things with an adult head... Maybe ;)Thank you!
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female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (17 February 2012):
 sounds like you didn't like it when he expressed how much he cared about you (I think camp means cheesy, right?), and now you don't like it that he's gone the other direction. You say he's changed not for the better but you didn't even like him when he was the first way, so I think it's time to just cut him loose.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (17 February 2012):
 You didn't mention the thing that happened that caused the break up. Maybe you shouldn't have got back with him anyway. You both can be nice people but if you aren't compatible you will be miserable if you force yourselves to stay in a relationship. The nicest person can turn into a bitch being stuck with the wrong person. You shouldn't take it personally. An adult head would walk away without any resentment and wish the other person the best. Dating involves many stages of learning about each other. It should not be looked at as a failure when one of you decides not to continue past another stage. There is always a better fit for you in the future.
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