A
female
age
30-35,
*icabeth
writes:Hi guys I need your advise. Me and my ex have broken up. A few months ago Due to arguing. But we are still meeting up nearly every week. He kept accusing me of cheating which I would never. He never likes me going out because guys would approach me which started the big argument. And all of a sudden he has a new gf. Which he only mentioned today it was only a week ago we last slept together and he was so nice to me and even told me he loved me wen he kissed me bye. Now He told me to fuck off ( sorry for swearing) and now blocked me on fb, what's app and his phone. I dunno wot to do it's killing me inside do I move on or wait see if he comes back ? Thanks for reading guys xx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 February 2018):
 Obviously this relationship was not working when you both decided to end it. If you where arguing all the time then that is not a healthy relationship. I want to know why are you still meeting up? You say meeting up but you don't mention what you do. Does he take you out? Do you both go for dinner? Or is it a case you are both meeting up and having sex? The thing is if he is meeting up with you just for sex, then he has no respect for you and he is only wanting someone to have a bit of fun with. Is that really what you want to be to someone? He accuses you of cheating probably because he knows he is capable of doing it so thinks you are as well. Him not liking you to go out is controlling. Most women that go out probably has a guy chancing there luck! But if he trusted you that wouldn't have been a problem. No point being in a relationship if there is no trust. He has a girlfriend and now he is obviously cheating on her with you. This is messed up! He doesn't want to be with you, he will only hurt you more and more if you let him. He has moved on and now you need to do the same. Wipe him from your life, block him back and soon you will realize you are much better of without him.
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (5 February 2018):
 Why would you even want this sleazebag?
He cheated on his GF with you, accused you of cheating (which is something that cheaters their self usually do) and spoke to you like dirt. Sounds like a great guy...
If you honestly don't think you deserve something better than that I'm not sure what to tell you. Follow his example, block and delete him off everything and move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2018): Have you not figured-out the only reason you were together was for the sex? The girlfriend is no big surprise, she was always there in-waiting. You don't become a girlfriend overnight. It takes at least a few dates.
He was using psychological-manipulation to keep you away from other men. Pretending he was still into you.
You focused all your attention on proving your innocence; while he was searching for your replacement. He pretended you were working on a reconciliation; for the purpose of cutting you deep with a double-edged sword.
First to let you know you got played; and secondly, to deepen the wound to kill any trust for men you have left. It's a nasty attempt to leave you too damaged to move on. He's jealous and possessive. It's the only way an evil and narcissistic man can move on.
This is where your inner-strength and fight for survival comes into play. You let yourself grieve. Allow your emotions to flow and purge yourself of his toxins. You do things to keep yourself afloat. Spoil yourself. Don't drink alcohol or spend money foolishly. Eat healthily. Take care of yourself by blocking all contact, temporarily closing your social media accounts, and avoiding all temptation to answer his text messages or emails. Avoiding contact with mutual-friends, and your old hangouts. He will purposely bring her there to rub salt in your wounds. That's coming in for the kill!
He wants you to be weakened and destroyed by his rejection. Being crushed while surrendering in-defeat to him doesn't prove your innocence or faithfulness. He was probably the one cheating the whole-time. You can cheat and be jealous at the same time.
Jealousy doesn't prove love, it proclaims or professes your ownership of person like property. A little bit is natural, but a lot is an unhealthy hold over a person.
This was purely a psychological-game. Well-played, because he has probably done this many times before. Guys like that often move from one girlfriend to their next by destroying one before finding the new one. He left his mark, like a dog pissing on a tree to let other males know he's been there.
Don't empower him by showing too much weakness. He'll feed on it. Show strength even if you have to fake it. Out of sight, out of mind. Distract yourself from ruminations and daydreaming.
You will find that you will naturally tap into your inner-supply of reserved-strength. Once you've gotten over the shock; and had a chance to detox to get his poison out of your system.
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A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate  +, writes (3 February 2018):
Stop wasting your time and move on.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 February 2018):
 STOP meeting up with him.
If he has you blocked then STOP wasting your time on him.
The reason he was accusing you of cheating was because HE was cheating on you. It's called diversion. He got you on the defensive trying to defend yourself against his accusations all the while he was doing EXACTLY what he accused you off.
He sounds like a piece of crap.
BLOCK him back and let him go. This is not the kind of guy you wait around for.
He was JUST using you for some extra sex.
Want more for yourself, girl!
Next time you date, date someone who actually trusts you and LOVES you. This guy didn't.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (3 February 2018):
 Sweetheart, listen to me. Why do you not think you deserve to be treated better than this abusive controlling user is treating you? Repeat after me: I DESERVE BETTER. Now keep repeating that until you start to believe it.
I think you dodged a bullet with this one. It was probably lucky you split up when you did because, if you had stayed with him, he would have eventually controlled your life completely and made you believe it was all your fault and/or for your own good.
Amazing that you listened to the false "I love you" but not the real "fuck off". Open your eyes and understand this guy was just using you until he got another girlfriend. Pity the new girlfriend while you move on and fine someone you treats you with respect and consideration. YOU DESERVE IT.
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