A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know this is still a decision i need to make myself,but i really need help. This guy i have been dating for only 3 months is bipolar. When we started dating i let him know that i wasn't going to tolerate smoking and alcohol because i don't like it and really don't want to be around that. He told me that he smoked but was trying to quit and only drank alcohol on special occasions. After thinking it all over i decided since he was trying to quit and only drank on special occasions i would let it slide. The first month or so it seemed he was doing good didn't drink and was barely smoking,but now he's been smoking almost everyday and drinking every week. He is also showing anger issues. He posted a status saying he wanted to beat someone up and that he wanted to kill him. It makes me feel nervous because he wasn't like this when we met, and all these anger issues are coming out more and more. I'm not one to fight i'd rather talk things out. This is the first relationship that i have fought with someone and it wasn't over something really serious. I am a little bit scared that i could be the one he'd be angry at one day and i'd end up getting hurt. Should I end it and move on ? Or should i just try to stay with him?
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (6 March 2012):
 It's not the bi-polar that is the issue, it's the fact that you are very different people and you have different intrests and different ways of dealing with anger. Your boyfriend is not dangerous in anyway, bi-polar doesn't make you a dangerous monster.
The guy like a drink, he likes a smoke, he gets angry about stuff, many millions of people do that. You don't want a boyfriend like that, so I suggest you leave and find somebody more like you. It's always best not to change people, but find people who we think we are compatible with.
Leave him, it's only been 3 months and already your having problems. Why stay with a guy who obviously causes you concern?
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 March 2012):
 Yoda says… “DO OR DO NOT there is no try….”
3 months is not a long time in a relationship. If so early on he’s already doing things that upset you, think long and hard about what you want to do.
Addictions are powerful and hard to break. Smoking and Alcohol are legal but are still addictions. IF you don’t like them and he changes FOR YOU then he’s not doing it for himself and it’s not going to stick. I quit smoking years ago for my husband. He wanted me to. I was fine with it till we broke up. The FIRST thing I did was buy a pack of cigarettes and go back to smoking. It took me another 5 years to quit JUST for ME.
If you are SCARED of him, it’s time to bail. And if you are afraid he will come after you, plan the breakup carefully. Bring others on board that know about it and don’t give him the options to be with you or near you after you’ve ended it. Block his numbers and facebook pages etc…
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A
male
reader, Uncle PJ  +, writes (6 March 2012):
 This comes down to how you feel about him. If your feelings are still strong for him, then I'd suggest trying to get him to talk to you. Explain that you're worried about him and feel unsafe around him. Tell him you still love him, if it's the case, but also tell him that if ever lays into you, you'll be straight out of the door, which is what you should do.Has he definitely been diagnosed with bipolar? If not then I'd suggest you get him to a doctor/counsellor to try and help him out. If you are going to stay with him, make he sure he knows that you're by his side and will support him every step of the way. This could potentially be a volatile relationship and if you ever feel in danger then get the hell out of there. So, it's really up to you and how you feel. I hope this helps and wish you all the luck in the world.
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