A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:All,Hope I can get some ideas through posting my concern on this website. I have something needs to be consulted immediately because I can't keep it any longer.It's almost 1 and half year now that I have been in love relationship with my boyfriend. It's not our first love, but I can say he's the last man I consider to marry with, and have never thought of any man since then. I gave him all love, concern, honest… but things I got from him only his betrayal and lying. After half year we became sweet heart, I found that he still had relationship with his ex girlfriend (he had many girls before and used to have sex relationship too). He sent her a message, apology her for letting her alone for a while… He kept asking her to go out with him for his own needs (sex). This showed me clearly that he betrayed me, and I was really hurt at that time. Thing has been solved because I think every can make mistake, I should forgive him since I love him. But I told him I'll not accept anymore of his betrayal… But later and later, he betrays and tells me a lie constantly. I always tell him, I don't like anyone told me a lie. I just need honesty from my boyfriend. He always apology me when he did something wrong to me, especially when I find out that he has relationship with other girls. I always tell my self I'll not give him anymore chance, but I couldn't do it so far. I always forgive him, and told him how I feel through what he did. Again, he sorry me, and asked for more chance to change his bad character. Few months ago, I knew love another lady, a lady who he knew 3 years ago. That lady told me she never interested in him, but he always asked her to accept his love. In the past few years up till now he always have relationship with ladies at the same time. This time, he asked that lady who is older than him to take leave from work for a day and go out for a walk with him (she denied). I knew that and really hopeless. Similar problems happened again and again many times. He sometime, changed the name which noticed as lady is his contact number to another number that I could not recognize… When I asked he said, they just friends, because he afraid I'll get upset, that's why he did like this. Just this week, his betrayal appears again. I knew dated a lady who he knew from chatting with yahoo messenger. First, they went for a walk with friend, later day only that lady and him. Every time, before I got to know this, he always told me a lie. First, he said he went with friends… After many questions I asked, he then admitted that he did wrong to me again. He apologized!! I knew he dated with another girl (I know he contact her for sexual)… I asked him why he always betrayed me. He said he know he's a bad guy, he always like flirting other girls… Things that really hurt me the most, he used my own motorbike to pick up that lady to go out for a walk. This time I'm really hard to make decision. Both families and friends know that we are in love. Besides this, I and he invest a lot of money together to run an IT school. Now it's running well, but our relationship is broken. My questions, I wondery why he betrayed me again and again like this? Many chance I gave him, should this time I give him again? I know I'll hurt to lost him in a short time, but I think it's better to leave him from now because I don't want any hurt in the future. Anyways, I feel I couldn't trust him any more. I want to know how I can end this blind relationship. I'm waiting to hearing from you.Many thanks for all your helps.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2010): What the previus poster said. I'm surprised you're still in this sham of a relationship - please release yourself from this delusion. You will be doing yourself a HUGE favor, and this guy as well, who needs to grow the hell up and learn to deal with life and his own substantial problems. Run, don't walk.
A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (13 August 2010):
 "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
Why would he betray you like this again and again?
Because you let him. He says he's sorry. Even though he obviously doesn't mean it, you accept it and take him back. All you're doing is reinforcing his behavior.
Should you give him another chance?
NO, no, no, a million times NO! He will not change. He will always cheat on you. I actually lost track of just how many times he's repeated this behavior when I read your story. He doesn't want to change, so he will not. All he will ever give you is pain, suffering, and possibly sexually transmitted diseases from his promiscuous encounters.
How can you end it?
Tell him enough is enough. He's violated your trust more than anyone should ever be allowed to. He'd done nothing but cause you pain. You've given him way more chances than you should have to begin with. Put your foot down and be strong. He doesn't diserve you.
Honestly, he doesn't care. If he cared in the first place, he would never have cheated. It's a game to him that you need to end. He'll go on cheating on the other girls he's with, the same as he is now. Please get out of this situation.
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