A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Hello,I recently (6 weeks ago) started seeing a man a friend set me up with, He'd seen a picture of me and asked her to introduce us. We met up and hit it off straight away, but the problem was he quit his job 2 days before 1st meeting me and so decided to take the opportunity to go travelling. As we continued seeing each other things progressed quickly and I was the 1st to initiate sex he said it was too soon.We continued to date then I learned he would be travelling at least 6 months. I asked all sorts of questions, can I meet him somewhere, will I see him when he gets back, has he told friends and family about me etc etc. Generally I was acting very insecure. The last time I saw him I wanted to have sex and he still said it was too soon. He says he'll stay in touch which he has - 2 e-mails and 2 phone calls so far and he said he'd like it if I visit and would like to see me when he gets back but I cant help feeling ashamed at myself for being so forward and wonder if he respects me less for behaving like that. Do you think I have anything to be worried about?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much for your frank and honest answer, I have definitely learned a valuable lesson and your answer has helped me to feel better about the situation. Thank you again
A
female
reader, Ask Heather +, writes (15 March 2007):
He wouldn`t have emailed and phoned you if he didn`t care! He dosn`t have to keep in contact; and the fact that he has shows you`ve nothing to worry about! When guys say they`ll ring, quite often it`s just a polite way of putting you down gently, without arguements or hassle; and when they don`t ring, you then realise (after sitting waiting for it to ring!) that they had no intention of doing so. I don`t think you need worry, and if you`re prepared to wait for his return, I hope you can both pick up from where you left off and continue to enjoy each other`s company. You`ve learnt a valuable lesson though; if this relationship dosn`t work out, in future relationships it may be an idea to take things a little slower before committing yourself to a sexual relationship, as, even if HE is ok with it, YOU may want the peace of mind of knowing that you took your time before committing to make it extra special. Kind Regards, Heather.
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