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anonymous
writes: Hello, I've been in a relationship for three years, one that sort of just happened. This is my first relationship. Although my partner and I continue to express our deep love for one another constantly, the relationship has many flaws which have at times escalated into heated arguments. During our relationships, I have cheated on him with former partners, and was always afraid to tell him about it. Telling him is still not an option, and I have recently stopped my infidelity. I have, however, accidently found out that he too has been chatting with others online, and possibly meeting up with them. I guess you can say that I'm getting a taste of my own medicine, but I'm bothered with his sneaking around on me. Particularly so after he accused me at the beginning of our relationship, and have been quite judgmental on my flaws. (which is the reason I sought out outside encounters with past partners). I'm afraid to confront him on what I found out, but it is bothering me. Help!!!
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reader, Wendyg  +, writes (14 April 2005):
 From what I can see, You really only have one option. You have to tell him. In order for this relationship to work you are both going to have to be honest. You need to sit down and talk this through, and see if you can both see a future. So far you have gone running to others in times of maybe crisis. He is now seeking something elsewhere also. Unless you are both open and honest, you are just going to be going round in a circle. Can you think of why you are together ? what good things you share ? Are there good reasons that you are together ? The way that you are both headed is for the end of the relationship, unless you can sort this out now. You need to be able to talk to one another for any sort of relationship to work. If you really cant face up to, or confront him about what you think you have found, it will eat you up, until you yourself cheat again. its a bit like, if hes doing it... then so will I! If you are to stand any chance you have to come clean, or at least tell him that you know what hes been up to. For all you know the reason he is doing this, is because he knows you already have. There is now way forward unless you can talk things through and do whats best for the both of you.Take carex x
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reader, REBECCA +, writes (14 April 2005):
hiPlease ask yourself if you really do love him because from an outsider not knowing all the facts and both sides of the stories, you both haven't based this relationship on trust!!!On one hand there is you betraying him with ex partners and there is him on the other maybe chatting up someone else!Honesty is the basis of any relationship and you both should sit down and discuss what is happening to your relationship! First of all, ask him! Second, tell him about your exes and work it out from there! It will be hard!! But if you decide you can't tell him then you should finish the relationship because there is no foundation of a relationship without honestyTake care
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