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female
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anonymous
writes: I've caught my boyfriend cheating red handed. What should I do?I have been with my boyfriend now for just over two years. We live long distance (abut 2 hours away) and there is a 13 years age gap between us. That never bothered me or him well he said it never bothered him but now I'm not so sure.I noticed that he was starting to act strangly about 6 months ago. He would ignore my calls, I would try and call him late at night to try and speak to him but his phone would be engaged. When I visited for the him weekends he would take his phone everywhere with him. Even to the loo! this started making me feel really insecure.So one day he was out side working on his car in the garage, he forgot to take his phone with him. So I turned the phone on and I saw to my horror txts from a woman. Saying stuff like I would love to meet up with you maybe we could go out for dinner blah blah blah blah! So I decided to take his phone home with me :oD, I phoned the woman. She told me everything, I asked her what her relationship was to my boyfriend and she told me that they were just friends, although she didn't even know of me. If you are just friends you tend to tell friends that you have a partner etc.So he knew that I had his phone etc We argued, cried, screamed and made up. I forgave him because I loved him.Then 4 months ago I was on his laptop looking up a few things, then I lost the web page that I was on so I decided to look through the history to find it again. When to my horror I noticed that he was going on chat rooms and personnal dating lines and registered on porno sites. I was devastated.I knew his passwords to everthing and his email add, so I went onto his account where I found pictures and emails from a lot of other woman. So I decided to play him at his own game. I registered at this chatroom and made up a username and profile and started chatting to him. He told me intimate details about his life which I already knew but played along. I did wish that I hadn't of done it because every time he would log on and say stuff like Hi hun. It would just make me cringe. I came out and told him that it was me and he went mad about it. I knew that he couldn't lie about any of it because I knew and recorded everything that he'd say.Is it an age thing? He's getting older and wants to settle down with someone who is already set in their ways and already has a career?What can I do? I love this man it's obvious that he has cheated on me and that he doesn't deserve me but it's so hard to let go. Everyone keeps saying just dump him. What should I do? Please Help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, becky05 +, writes (8 August 2005):
Dump him for goodness sake! You have exposed him for the lying, cheating rat that he is. Dont give him a second chance!
A
female
reader, charliesgirl +, writes (6 August 2005):
I'm terribly sorry for you. What a lousy guy! Sadly the ignored phone calls and odd behaviour are the classic signs of a cheat.
He may not have actually met up with any of these online ladies, but his behaviour is still cheating- and not only once, but twice! And those are the ones you know about! He is playing like a single man, with several women on the go. That isn't the behaviour of a man who is supposedly in a loving, commited relationship.
You are young and have a great future ahead of you! Why should you waste any more of your precious time, youth and energy on a pathetic cheater like him? I doubt very much that he is looking to settle down, I imagine he's just enjoying stringing along as many women as possible whilst he can get away with it!
Make yourself the exception- he's only angry because he's been discovered. He has cheated more than once and will almost certainly do it again.
It will be really tough for a while, but break away from him and find yourself.
Good Luck
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