A
female
age
41-50,
*hawntee3
writes:i found out my boyfriend of 3 years has 3 different babies, by 3 different women.the ages of his three children are 5, 4 and 2 i love him, he lives with me and my kids, who are aged 8 and 13. I love him and i want to be with him, but what do i do try to trust him again? I need this for my family's sake and for me. Or do i just say the hell with it?And do i tell my kids the truth about him? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, shawntee3 +, writes (16 April 2011):
shawntee3 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks I didnt have to let him go because we fort so much that he said Im not worth all that to him! Thank the lord!
A
female
reader, shawntee3 +, writes (11 April 2011):
shawntee3 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks so much eclectic i have no males in my family
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A
female
reader, shawntee3 +, writes (11 April 2011):
shawntee3 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks so much eclectic i have no males in my family
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 April 2011):
 You just say the hell with it.
You do not need to "try " and trust him. You can't afford it- you are a mother of two still young kids, and you are responsible for the people you bring in their life. You can't dabble with people that " maybe " can be trusted, or maybe not. You need someone who is sincere , reliable and trustworthy right off the bat.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (10 April 2011):
 Lets see... you are a mother with kids by father(s) who are no longer around. He is a father for kids he is no longer around...Is it me, or does a pattern start to emerge here? Nah... sure 4th time is a charm.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): If a man cant treat his own children well. Then dont expect much better treatment from him. The fact that he has kept 3 children hidden from you, means he cant really have a very good relationship with them or you would have known about them. Does he pay child support? Or ever have any contact with them? He sounds irresponsible and shifty with far too much baggage. Im sure day to day he is 'nice'. He must be to have got 3 different women pregnant. But look at the mess hes in. If you find his qualities attractive then thats your look out but personally, i think i would move on rather than try to explain to my children that my partner is a liar whos fathered 3 children already. The lying would put me right off him, let alone the costs of future child support and the nightmare of coping with 3 ex's ect. You obviously dont really know him that well or you would have known he was a father straight out of the gate. So the question is, what else dont you know. I would consider leaving him to his mess and finding a decent, responsible guy thats honest.
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A
male
reader, eclectic +, writes (10 April 2011):
I can't think of how you can fully trust him again under the circumstances. I can see why he wouldn't tell you about his past, though. He knew that if he told you he had three children, by three different women, in the span of 4 years, you might be frightened off. He's smart! Fact is, he was careless and unreliable in his relationships, and then went as far as to deny the existence of his own children in order to keep the party going with you. That's low.
I would distance myself from him, since liars tend to lie about many things. He will disappoint you, and your kids. Maybe there are other secrets as well.
I would especially avoid having #4 by him, since he has no concept of children and family, or protection, for that matter. I'm sorry to be harsh, but his history is trouble. He doesn't do well with long-term relationships. He also kept a very important part of his life from you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): Looks like he cheats too. You need lies and exposure to venereal diseases for your family's sake? You don't make any sense and it seems like you are finding excuses to not do anything like kick him to the curb. The man randomly breeds without a care in the world and next thing you know you will be pregnant too and finding further reasons to stay. Think of your kids and get out now.
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