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female
,
anonymous
writes: I started seeing a man who is divorced. His ex wife cheated on him and he was hurt badly. He just wants to date casually and that's all he's been doing for the past couple of years. When he talks about his past, it seems like he was a very sweet husband. But now he's just bouncing around from one woman to the next and is seeing other people. I don't think I have a future with him. I'm just wondering if a man who's been hurt badly will ever be capable of getting into a relationship again.
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (9 March 2006):
 Of course he can. He just needs to learn to trust again. Takle it slowly and go at his pace. If its meant to grow into something special it will. xxx
A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (9 March 2006):
 Course they are capabile of having a relationship it is just that he knows he can use you and that you feel sorry for him so he gets away with it.
Stop this behaviour, tell him straight that his wandering days are ended if he wants to stay with you, if not then move on and leave him to his sleeping around with women he gives the sob story to and believe him.
We all have baggage and we all learn to work through it and leave it at the door of a new relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2006): There's a lot of left-over baggage with this guy, dear. Grieving the loss of a marriage relationship and healing from it takes some people, a long time. Seems like he's dealing with trust issues and is wary of committing himself. Who can blame him, his ex-wife cheated on him. Everyone deals with hurt differently. Some bounce back quickly..some take years to resolve it. He's just got to get to the point where he 'trusts himself' to choose a woman whom he can trust once again. If he's flitting around dating other women, my guess is he's doing one of two things: he's still looking for that 'trustworthy' woman and while he looking, he's just having fun, playing the field. In both cases, the reality is-he's not ready to settle. If you aren't prepared to wait this out, I would just get out and find someone else who is more compatible and shares your relationship goals-someone who fits into the 'ready' category. Good luck, hun and take care.
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