A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been meeting up with a guy for about 3 weeks now but I suddenly feel a bit panicked and I'm not sure what's going on...We met, through a mutual friend and he found me on a social networking site and friend requested me. I waited a couple weeks to accept and when I did he always made effort to chat on line to me. One weekend, we bumped into each other on a night out and he kissed me in front of everyone which was a shock but a really nice one and he asked for my number. I know I shouldn't find it that amazing but I've dated a lot of idiots who have wasted my time and hurt me. He is so different. So calm and easy going. When we are together he makes me feel amazing and so happy and i just want to do that for him too! Anyway, so we got a taxi home and said night. Next time we were both out with our friends I went back to his house. We haven't had yet sex as I want to wait til it feels right and he's been totally fine with it, really patient which is great. Things are really passionate when we are together but he doesn't force anything on me. So we've been meeting up at my flat etc texting, the usual. Then, the other night we had an arguement. Basically because I drank way too much and got a bit of the green eyed monster, which is so unlike me and I hated the whole thing. Wish I'd walked away. The girl was just a friend, but how was I to know and we haven't said we are officially dating or anything yet. We spoke afterwards that night and i got upset. He said he just wanted me to tell him what i was thinking coz i never do so i told him i was worried that he would mess me around. We sorted it all out and although ive been feeling really bad about it he said to forget about it and things have kinda gone back to normal. Lately he's had a lot of assignments to do and we haven't met up all week and not spoken a great deal. I chatted to him last night online and he seemed really funny, like not his usual self. Said he's been snowed under with work and that he can't get on top of it. I was trying to lighten the mood and then all of a sudden he said he had to go and put 'take care x'. ....what does that mean?! That was last night and I've been upset at work today about it. Part of me knows that it will be fine but my insecurities are eating away at me. I want to wait til he contacts me because i want to be with someone who really wants to be with me but my friend reckons i should just ask to meet up and have a chat. I feel so stupid coz im old enough to know what to do i guess but he's been so different from other guys until just lately. I duno if im just being paranoid or if he's changed his mind over night?! Also, he and his friends were talking about hot and better women abroad on line earlier?!! Does he not care what i think then?! Sorry about the major essay! Any help will be appreciated!
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've just sat here pondering it all and I've actually realised something. I don't think I'm just ready to get too involved right now. I like him and want to keep seeing him but I feel almost scared to get too involved with too much emotion at the moment. I have been single for about 3 years since my last serious relationship and I feel a bit vunerable liking someone and telling them what I'm thinking. Maybe he thought I was acting mental coz i was so into the idea of a relationship but i don't ever act how i did that night and it made no sense. I am so used to being on my own, I think I freaked out coz he's actually nice to me and a decent person, however weird that must sound! I feel a bit better already! But should I tell him this?!
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey, thanks for your reply.Yeah I feel like a complete tool for getting so jealous because there was no reason to. I don't ever get that heated, my friends have been really surprised when i told them what happened. just hate the thought that i may have messed it all up over a ridiculous drunken arguement that i started. I was managing to play it so cool until then! arrgh! i've tried but i can't stop beating myself up over it.I haven't asked him if anythings up just because i don't want to smother him if i have already. I do want to have the chance to talk it over, but like you say, i don't know if he will give me that chance at the moment. although, I think he would, coz he's a nice person. Guess i just need closure if this is all that's guna happen... so gutted of that's the case though :o/ .
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2011): hey,
maybe he's just not interested anymore. when he saw you get jealous, even though you were drinking, maybe it seemed that you were more serious than he was about the relationship, or maybe he just saw another side of you and it turned him off. sometimes people know you're drunk but still associate your actions with your personality or something. Have you asked him if something is bothering him? maybe he wouldn't reply anyway. I don't know if I'd take the chat with his friends about women too seriously. guys often try to sound "manly" around each other by objectifying women. anyway you've only been together for 3 weeks, you're young. you can try and sort it out if you think he's worth it, but if your gut says forget about it, maybe you should listen.
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