A
female
age
51-59,
*in1
writes:I was seeing a guy 4 7mths who was a friend of a friend that i had known for ages. Before we got together he changed jobs and now is a snowboarding instructor. When we got together he was out of work but knew that eventually when he got one abroad he would go back to doing it. We got really close and cared so much about each other. While he was waiting for jobs, he went travelling for 3 months and kept in touch by email and phone. When he came back we was even closer and i fell for him. Whilst i want him to be happy was hoping he wouldnt get a job and change this to a job at home. He got a job and has been in new zealand for 6 weeks. At frst it was great but i have become more paranoid as alot of them sleep around. He hs finished it so i dont get more hrt. what do i do? i miss him so much Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lin1 +, writes (26 July 2008):
lin1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the reply not sure how i am going to cope feels like im going mad but im sure in time it will all come clear
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2008): I know how you feel. I'm 36 from the UK my boyfriend moved to Oz permanently and got a job and has settled in. The long distance thing has nearly killed us - and now I have to make a decision. He may have done you a favour because I would not wish the last 12 months of my life, the 'not knowing' the trust issues and general heartache on anyone. Unless you want to try and live where he does he has made his decision that his job, life and new country are what he wants. I have had to swallow this too - it feels like an insult. However they would not be happy if you 'trapped them' he sounds like a free spirit. Have some space and see how you feel in a couple of weeks. The more I have built up my own confidence and life the more I have put things in perspective.
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A
male
reader, Ometeotl  +, writes (26 July 2008):
 Are you committed to this sort of relationship. It's not like a long distance relationship but more of a come and go relationship. If you don't like it let him know how you feel and if there is no compromise then do what your heart tell you to do. If you decide to leave him then don't feel hurt about it. A relationship should consist of two people who have the time to interact with each other and to bond. You can't bond when you two can never meet. As for him being in a place you don't trust. You will have to ask him, there is no way to know unless you are spying on him. This is where truth and integrity come into play. You either trust him or you don't. Just don't let emotions cloud your judgment. Best of wishes.
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