A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi I started going to the gym and began to have a crush on a guy. I'm thinking he knows I like him because he introduced himself to me and said to ask him if I need help with the machines. The only thing is that he's probably at least 10 years older than me. I'm 21 he looks around 33. My friend finds it creepy but I have always liked older men. Should I take him up on that or does it sound like I'm being naive? would you approach a girl my age? thanks for any advice or opinion
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (31 March 2016):
 so, what about you pick him up on that offer and get to know him a bit and then ask his age? he might look 33, but a lot of people dont look their age. he could be 40.
A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (30 March 2016):
The crazy rule of thumb that seems to always work is the minimum womans age is half the mans plus seven. When I first heard this, I thought it was nuts but every piece of empirical data I have shows me its correct. If he is 32, that means the youngest woman he can successfully be with is 23.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 March 2016):
 How much do you ACTUALLY know about this guy? Do you know his name for instance? If not, maybe you need to find that out and see what you can dig up on social media. Like... does he have a GF or wife?
I do agree with wrathykins, that at 21, you may not have a whole lot in common with this guy, specially when it comes to life experience and that can make for an imbalanced relationship.
He might "look" 33'ish, but he could be 40, he could be 25!
So maybe introduce you and get his name, see what you can dig up before you get involved in something you may not want part off.
Use a little common sense and self-preservation.
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A
female
reader, wrathykins  +, writes (28 March 2016):
 The only issue I can see with this is that because he's so much older than you, he's at a different stage in his life. You are 21, and should be partying with your friends and doing all the stuff you want to do in life whilst you still can.
I'm just assuming, but typically men of that age might be looking to settle down and start a family.
That might be completely jumping the gun and he might just want to help you.
Personally, I have someone who is 10 years older than me trying to get me to go on a date, and I find it a bit weird. I think things work better with someone closer to your age, than someone alot older, but that's just my opinion.
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A
female
reader, Mayah Playah +, writes (28 March 2016):
 There's nothing wrong with liking older men, and if that's what you want, then go for it. However, older men are very different from guys your age. Be careful. Don't forget that he's hitting on you for a reason. Maybe it's because you're attractive, maybe it's because you're that particular age. Remain aware.
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A
male
reader, TylerSage +, writes (28 March 2016):
 It's fine. As you get older you begin to realise age is soooooooooooo unimportant. It's just the stigma of society. If you like him, take a chance. Not to mention he's the older one which I believe makes things easier. He could very well end up being your future husband. Who knows? However, as you mentioned, don't be naive, be vigilant and trust your instincts. If things seem funky get the heck out. At least you can say you tried.
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