A
female
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anonymous
writes:I need some help. Im 19 years old and I have started dating this guy who I went to school with. The thing is though hes ALWAYS been a major flirt with all the girls. Hes overly friendly, overly confident and overly flirty to most girls. But when hes with me, hes the complete opposite. Hes more quiet and doesnt seem as flirty or as confident, but hes still really friendly. This confuses me and in a way im jealous that hes so flirty and seems so close to every girl he meets. He has so many girls who hug him and send him messages saying 'xoxo love u babe!'He is also really really close friends with this girl we went to school with.Im not close friends with her, but we are friends. He tells her everything and she tells him everything. So I find it hard to talk to either of them cause I feel like I cant trust them cause what I say will be passed on. On top of all that...I am the complete opposite to him. I am realy really shy and in confident and I feel like I could never live up to what he probably expects- me to be like him. I just dont know if hes the right person for me. I dont think I have the strength to be his gf.Any advice on what I should do, how to cope etc?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2008): Your boyfriend is a confident, outgoing chap, who likes women and gets on well with them. He feels comfortable in the company of women, and shows kindness and respect to them. But when he's with you, he's shy and less confident. You are a shy person, but he's not. He looses confidence with you because he dosen't know what to do. With other girls, it's a game, it's just harmless flirting which dosen't mean anything. With you, he becomes a different person because he's so scared that he will do something wrong and loose you. Your boyfriend cares for you very much, but he's aware that you and him are very different people. He tries to change, to suit you and become your ideal man, shy, quiet and thoughtfull. He dosen't expect nothing of you, he's just glad that you agreed to be his girlfriend. He thinks the world of you, and if you leave him, he will be hurt. You lack confidence, well just imagine how he feels, your not like the other girls, your something special, you make him feel tongue tied, you make him feel clumsy and dumb. He looks up to you, you are perfect as you are. Show some confidence, you've got this guy by the balls. If you don't want him to tell your secrets, just tell him you like to keep your privacy. I have a strong feeling that this guy would do anything to keep you, but maybe he feels he's loosing you already. He knows your he may not be right for you, and maybe he's right, because your already thinking of dumping him. You may want somebody a little less outgoing, but you probably will never find a guy who cares for you as much as this one does.
A
female
reader, RawrrJoJoBabii  +, writes (15 August 2008):
 There are many many boys that act this way &+ At my school theres this boy whose exactly the same. Confident & Flirty. Being his girlfriend might not be easy and at times you may be really Jealous. Don't try to accuse him of anything it may just be his personality but deep inside he really likes you. The reason girls flirt back with him And maybe send him texts like that is probably because they like the attention he gives. They may not be attracted to him at all but his flirting and stuff may be his way to attract attention from girls & most of the times it works. If you really like him I would approach him and let him know how you feel but that maybe he needs to cut down on the flirting because you don't really care for it. He should understand and if he doesnt he's not really focused on having a girlfriend and hes probably better off flirting with all the girls, playing the field, or however else you wanna call this.
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A
male
reader, Nick Man +, writes (15 August 2008):
I honestly think that if you are going to get a steady date, you need one that isnt so flirteous. Find a trusting man who wont turn his back on you to flirt. Find a man who loves you, becuase he obviously doesnt think you are the one if he is overly flirtatious.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2008): I would definitely confront him on this. My bf can be the same way, very friendly with many female friends. But I wouldn't tolerate him being closer to any of these girls than he is to you, that just compromises the integrity of your relationship. You should also ask him to stop sending suggestive messages, I personally feel that that's not okay.I hope it all works out ok! Don't stress too much, just tell him how uncomfortable you are.
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