A
female
age
41-50,
*oene
writes:About two months ago, I met a wonderful man. We were fell head over heels in love with each other. It was almost instant, although he was more serious about it than I was. I just went with the flow. He's a bit of a loner and he doesn't lead a "common" lifestyle. He says he has no ambitions. He says he has no need for friends and doesn't like to be around people because they make him sad. Sometimes he isolates himself. A few weeks ago I was away at my parents'. They live in another country, so I was away for two weeks. One day I tried to call him but he was in "isolation mode", as I like to call it, and wouldn't pick up the phone. The next day, he texted me saying that he had to be alone and that our relationship had to end because he wasn't good enough for me and that he wasn't capable of making me happy. That wasn't the first time he said that he couldn't make me happy, and that he was afraid. I told him that he makes me very happy but somehow he thinks he doesn't. When I got back from my parents', I went straight to his house. He didn't even mention the break-up. Everything was as before. He treated me as he always had: like a queen. I spent three days at his house. I assumed things had gone back to normal but they hadn't. He didn't even call, so I pressured him and we ended up having a very bad fight. I had never seen him like that. I decided to back off and give him some space, but after two days of silence (last Sunday), he called me. We're both private tutors. He wanted to know if I could cover a class for him but also apologized for his harsh words. I said that I would get back to him and called on Monday. He didn't pick up and I left a message saying that I was calling to know about the class. I didn't mention anything else. He called me back yesterday. I only picked up the second time he called. We talked about the class and he mentioned that he didn't want to be on bad terms with me.What do you think of all this? I'm really in love with this man. I'm still completely crushed because of the break-up and it's been almost two weeks already. What do I have to do to get him back?
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male
reader, MeAgain3  +, writes (19 August 2008):
I used to the man in one of these relationship. Mine was online. I've had problems socializing in the past and still do. I felt disconnected from people was told by this girl how much she loved me and that she wanted me to sleep with her and have a relationship.. But I coudnt find any reason to love her back or sleep with her. Because of my values.. that never happened.
In the end she just gave up on me... I've been thinking along time since then about why I should love her, she was not humourous, romantic or had any other quality.
But I realized now, she told me she would love me no matter what was wrong with me, and willing to accept it, as if I was hiding some terrible secret about myself left untold, which I wasn't. And personally I think that in itself would have been lovable enough. To offer your love to someone despite their flaws.
Just give him some time and maybe contact him again...
Tell him to win someone heart and not take is much more terrible than starting a relationship and relizating it is not right and just becoming friends
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2008): I'm a loner but I don't push my partners away though I admit I have a hard time letting myself go and trusting people.Loners almost become selfish people, we got hurt by people so many times we just decide to focus on ourself and not on other people emotionally. He has major barriers up, if he dosen't trust you enough then he isn't going to let them down, leave him alone and see if he see sense. If he dosent then maybe he dosen't like you in that way and you should move on
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A
female
reader, Aoene +, writes (24 April 2008):
Aoene is verified as being by the original poster of the questionActually, we did spend consecutive days together. He says that he is unhappy around people but not when he's with me. That's what I don't get! If he feels good around me, why did he break up? He also thinks that he's a loser and isn't not good enough for me.
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A
female
reader, Aoene +, writes (24 April 2008):
Aoene is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'll write my own title the next time I post a question... :|
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