A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:i am a 53 year old woman, was married for 28 years, divorced 5 years. have been very careful with my heart in the new dating game again, until now. i met a man i have been dating for 10 months, we have both been through the same situations, both have grown children, ready to start a new relationship but scared to death. he proclaims his love for me and i him, only problem i live in 1 state, he another. every time we plan to he move here or i there, he always has excuses .lately, he says i hope so soon, i love you, i want you, but afraid to commit. my question is does a new dog learn new tricks or does the old dog just want to remain the same, all alone?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (12 February 2009):
 Here's a question you didn't answer -- he's divorced too, right? For how long? I ask because I'm sure that despite what his heart may be telling him, his head may be sending a different message... result? Inactivity and an overall lack of commitment for fear of falling into the same pit of vipers he may have just crawled out of in the not too distant past.
OK, that part said, is there a particular reason why after 10 months you're so ready to pick up roots and move closer (or together)? Not to be flippant or anything, but aren't you rushing it if you haven't had a complete year together (so to speak)? Is there some urgency that you haven't expressed that you're not willing to allow him to progress in the relationship at his own rate?
...these are just "thought questions" -- something you might want to consider or contemplate for yourself. Old dogs do learn new tricks, but they're gun-shy when they're not 100% sure. So maybe you want to have a discussion on where you both are in this relationship and what you both want out of it. If your goals aren't aligned, then that might also be that source of hesitation you're seeing.
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